“‘I have a split personality,’ said Tom, being Frank”
"'I have a split personality' said Tom being Frank" is a joke that was posted on the website Pun of the Day in 1999. "Frank" is a name and "frank" is also a…
1940s-1950s: Assorted Big Apple citations
“‘I have multiple personality disorder,’ said Tom, being Frank”
"'I have a split personality' said Tom being Frank" is a joke that was posted on the website Pun of the Day in 1999. "Frank" is a name and "frank" is also a…
“‘I just caught a terrorist!’ said no TSA agent ever”
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) was created after the September 11, 2001 attacks to improve airport security procedures. Many people believe that the TSA does nothing and is mostly…
“‘I know a word that uses all six vowels including ‘y’ in alphabetical order,’ said Tom facetiously”
A-E-I-O-U-Y are the English vowels, in order. There are several English words that
“‘I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4 pm’ Said no one ever”
"'I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4pm' said no one ever" (shown on an image) was posted on Twitter by Sent-Well.com (and others) on November 1, 2014. The same…
“‘I must do something’ will always solve more problems than ‘Something must be done’”
"'I must do something' will always solve more problems than 'Something must be done'" is a saying that has been printed on posters. The saying has been cited in print…
“‘I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,’ said Tom heartlessly”
A "Tom Swifty" about playing cards was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 18, 2000: "'I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,' said Tom heartlessly."…
“‘I ran a half marathon’ sounds so much better than ‘I quit halfway through a marathon’”
"I ran a half-marathon! Small print: I entered a marathon and gave up halfway through" was cited on Twitter on September 24, 2013. The joke became viral with Rick Aaron's tweet on…
“‘I see,’ said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw”
"'I see,' said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw" is a form of pun known as a "Wellerism." "A country paper, in speaking of a blind wood…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser”
"I before E except after C" is an old spelling rule, but there are many exceptions. Budweiser is one of the highest selling beers in the United States. The beer joke "I before E…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except when you run a feisty heist on your weird beige overweight foreign neighbor”
"I" before"E" is an English spelling rule, with many exceptions -- such as "neighbor" and "neighborhood." "'I'before 'E,' except…
“‘I’ is the only difference between fit and fat”
"'I' is the only difference between fit and fat" (or "'I' is the only difference between fat and fit") is a motivational saying that has been printed on…
“‘I’ll have a hot dog,’ Tom said frankly”
A "Tom Swifty" (or "Tom Swiftie") is a quoted sentence with a related pun in the attribution. "'I had a hot dog for lunch,' Tom said frankly" was printed in…
“‘I’m just gonna get gas in the morning” is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult”
Many people drive home from work and are tired, and they tell themselves that they will get gas in the morning. However, in the morning they have to wake up early, there is traffic, the gas station…
“‘I’m leaving Twitter’ is the new ‘I’m moving to Canada’”
During the 2016 U.S. presidential election, many liberals stated that they would move to Canada is Donald Trump (a Republican) were to be elected president. he was elected, but not many of these…
“‘I’m offended’ is the debate equivalent of flipping over the board game when you start losing”
"'I'm offended' is the debate equivalent of flipping over the board game when you start losing" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, "I'm…
“‘Iced coffee’ sounds cool but ‘cold coffee’ sounds gross”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twittervince@v_c_17How come we like iced coffee but dislike cold coffee?12:37 PM · May 19, 2020·Twitter for Android Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/IlConteiacula…
“‘Is Pepsi OK?’—World’s worst drug dealer”
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
“‘It’s been a long week,’ I say in the middle of the day on Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…
“‘It’s been a long week.’—Me, in the middle of Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…