“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer”
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer" is a popular joke definition of a jury. The joke appeared in the Atchison (KS)
Neighborhoods
“A jury is one thing that never works when it’s fixed”
"What's one thing that doesn't work when it's fixed?" is a popular riddle. The answer is "a jury." The joke has been cited in print since 1946, when it appeared…
“A keg but for iced coffee”
"Hear me out: a keg but for iced coffee" is a suggestion that has been printed on many images. "A keg but for iced coffee" was posted on X/Twitter by Jennifer Baxley• on March…
“A keyboard walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A keyboard version was posted on Twitter on January 22, 2011:
“A kid threw a lump of cheddar at me. I thought, ‘That’s not very mature’”
A popular cheese joke involves the word "mature." "Was walking down the street the other day and someone threw grated cheese at me... I thought 'Hmmmm..... very…
“A King caught his Queen watching Pawn one Knight in the Castle and decided to report to the Bishop”
A chess joke/pun was posted on Twitter by Oluwadamiloju 'Da UniBrow' Saliu on December 8, 2019: "A King caught his Queen watching Pawn one Knight in the Castle and decided to report…
“A klutz walks into a bar” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A klutz version is simply: "A klutz walks into a bar." This is an anti-joke.…
“A knight in shining armor is a man who’s never had his metal truly tested”
"A knight in shining armor is a man who's never had his metal truly tested" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that one must go…
“A knight on the rim is dim” (chess adage)
"A knight on the rim is dim/grim" (or "knights on the rim are dim/grim") is a chess adage meaning that a knight on the edge of the chessboard has less mobility. Knights are more…
“A knish is just a mashed potato Hot Pocket”
Knishes have been compared to Hot Pockets. "'It’s like a kosher hot pocket.' - Anthony Bourdain (via walpaper) knish? http://tumblr.com/x795nrsly" was posted on Twitter by…
“A lamb, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Ba-Dum-Tss”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“A landscaper walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version involving a horse is: "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says,…
“A large aperitif: contents of an Italian horse’s mouth”
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several jokes about a "large aperitif" (large pair of teeth), usually…
“A large dog’s favorite pastry is a Great Danish”
A "Great Dane" is a dog; a "danish" is a pastry. "What do you get when you cross wonderful baking skills and a very large dog? A great danish" was posted on Twitter on…
“A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners’ Association”
"A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners' Association" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A "Karen" is a highly opinionated and entitled person.…
“A large group of Karens is called an HOA”
"A large group of Karens is called a Homeowners' Association" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A "Karen" is a highly opinionated and entitled person.…
“A late train gets later” (transportation adage)
"A late train (only/usually/just) gets later" is an old transportation adage. "A late train gets later" was cited in print in 1922, where it was listed in a newspaper column of…
“A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose”
"A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose" is a popular legal contradiction that appeared in the American Bar Association Journal in 1920. "What is it…
“A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer”
Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…
“A lawyer helps you get what’s coming to him”
"A lawyer helps you get what’s coming to him" is a jocular saying of unknown authorship that has been cited in print since at least December 1948. American composer and comedian Oscar…