“I lost my job as a yes man because I no too much”
A joke about a "yes man" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on November 23, 2017: "I lost my job as a yes man because I no too much." The one-liner is a pun on "know too…
Food/Drink
“I lost my job at the zoo recently…” (joke)
Zoo signs such as "Do not feed the animals" are for the public and not for zoo staff, but there are jokes. "I was always one to follow the rules...at the zoo the sign said don't…
“I lost my job making stencils. They said I wasn’t cut out for it”
"I lost my job making stencils. They said I wasn't cut out for it. #repundancy" is a jocular work saying that was posted on Twitter by Wobin on May 24, 2011. "Got sacked from my…
“I lost my Tic Tacs today. Now, I’m looking for replacemints”
"Lost my Tic-Tacs yesterday... Now Im looking for some replace mints" was posted on Twitter by David Easaw on January 8, 2013. "I lost my Tic Tacs today.... Now, I'm looking for…
“I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas”
"I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“I love Basmati rice. I could eat it Tilda cows come home”
Tilda (a brand name since 1970) makes basmati rice that is the top-selling rice in the United Kingdom. "Tilda" sounds like "till the," and there are jokes about this "till…
“I love bowling! It’s the perfect workout. Six seconds of exercise, drink beer half an hour”
"Bowling is the ideal sport. It’s basically an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by six seconds of exercise" is a bowling saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I love coffee, I love tea” (“Java Jive”)
"I love coffee, I love tea" (also "I like coffee, I like tea") is best known today as the first line of the song "Java Jive" (1940, with words by Milton Drake, music…
“I love cooking children and dogs. But hate using commas”
"I love cooking children and dogs but I hate punctuating my sentences" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter on April 3, 2011. "I love cooking children and dogs but I hate…
“I love cooking with wine—sometimes I even put it in the food”
"I love cooking with wine -- sometimes I even put it in the food." This popular quote has been attributed to French chef Julia Child (1912-2004) and to the film comedian (and lover of the…
“I love deadlines; I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by”
"I love deadlines; I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by" is usually credited to the English writer Douglas Adams (1952-2001), best known for The Hitchhiker's Guide to…
“I love doing crunches. If by ‘doing crunches’ you mean ‘eating chips’”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
“I love fall most of all”
"I love fall most of all" is a seasonal saying that has been printed on many images. "I love Fall most of all!" was posted on Twitter by DeWayne in SD on October 13, 2009.…
“I love food more than I love people”
"I love food more than I love people" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "I love food more than I like people. It's not even close" was posted on…
“I love going outdoors. It’s much safer than going out windows”
"I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Out windows" is sometimes written as…
“I love going outdoors. It’s much safer than going outwindows”
"I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Out windows" is sometimes written as…
“I love hard work. I could watch it all day”
English author Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927) wrote about work in Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog) (1889): "It always seems to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is…
“I love having a job, I just hate going”
"I love having a job, I just hate going" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on several images. "I love having a job, I just hate working" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I love having a job, I just hate working”
"I love having a job, I just hate going" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on several images. "I love having a job, I just hate working" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I love having a job. I just hate goin to that mf”
"I love having a job, I just hate going" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on several images. "I love having a job, I just hate working" was posted on X/Twitter by…