A "chest infection" is not a "chess infection" and has nothing to do with the game of chess, but there are jokes. "It must be cold in Russia, I hope Garry Kasparov…
"Side effects" shouldn't be confused with "cider fecks," but a joke involves Bulmers/Magners Irish Cider. "Every time I drink Magners or Bulmers I start swearing. Must…
Some people are reluctant to put a vehicle's windshield wipers on the highest speed, so they check to see what other drivers are doing. "DAE feel like their windshield wipers should be…
Some people rarely eat healthy food. Whenever they do eat healthy food, they jocularly demand immediate results. "Everytime I eat a salad I'm like, my life better change after this"…
A "wonton" dumpling sounds like "one ton," and there's a pun: "Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton." The jocular one-line saying was posted on…
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
"Me & my paycheck trying to figure out when the government worked half of my shift" -- that is, the government took taxes from the paycheck -- is a saying that has been printed on…
"Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 19,…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
Many people use self-checkout because it's faster -- only to be behind a slow person. The following observation was posted on Twitter by jordan on April 15, 2021: "Every time I use…
Pastrami on rye, with mustard, is a classic New York Jewish deli dish. A popular joke has a non-Jew entering a deli and ordering a pastrami sandwich -- on white bread, with mayonnaise. "He…
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
"An accountant complains that every time the government shifts to the left, the decimal points in the national debt move to the right," is cited in print since at least 1950. The saying…
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
"Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Every time you're able to find…
Kids often enjoy fast food; for adults, it's an admission that they can't (or won't) cook. "Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you…
"Every time you make a typo, the errorists win" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, coffee mugs and T-shirts. "The errorists win" is a…
The word "vinegar" is sometimes said to have the "n-word" in it, so white people can't properly say it. "@dallasblack comedian just said he's not comfortable…
"'Every triangle is a love triangle if you love triangles' - Pythagoras. @JamesAcaster brilliant this evening" was posted on Twitter on February 12, 2014. Pythagoras was an…