“When someone close to you dies, move seats”
"When someone close to you dies, move seats" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. This is probably good advice when sitting on a train, a bus, a plane, or in a movie…
Food/Drink
“When someone doesn’t like me, I check my pay stub to see if it made any difference”
"When someone doesn't like me, I check my pay stub to see if it makes any difference" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that, for example, one…
“When someone doesn’t like you, check your pay stub to see if it made any difference”
"When someone doesn't like me, I check my pay stub to see if it makes any difference" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that, for example, one…
“When someone doesn’t like you, check your bank account and see if it made a difference”
"When someone doesn't like me, I check my pay stub to see if it makes any difference" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that, for example, one…
“When someone offers me decaf, I think, ‘Why are you trying to give me your brown sadness-water?’”
"Decaf coffee? You mean brown sadness water?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'When someone offers me decaf, I just think, "Why are you trying to give me…
“When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?”
"When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it's for them?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Howcome when there is a knock at…
“When someone said I was as keen as mustard, I took it as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“When someone says, ‘You won’t believe what I saw on the news!’ Correct”
"When someone says, 'You won't believe what I saw on the news!' Correct" is a meme that has been printed on many images. That is, someone thinks that the news has something…
“When someone tells me it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy, but for me it’s always stressy, depressy, lemon zesty”
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy” is a way of saying that something is easy. "Difficult difficult lemon difficult" (or "When you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy,…
“When someone tells me they aren’t a dog person, all I hear is blah, blah, blah, I’m a psychopath”
Not everyone likes dogs, and those who do like dogs often cannot relate to this sentiment. This was posted on X/Twitter by Stacey on June 20, 2017, and received over 12,000 likes: "When…
“When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football”
"When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1979…
“When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land, I nearly fell off my unicorn”
"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…
“When termites eat out, do they order the house salad?”
A “house salad” is the regular salad of an American restaurant. It’s not made of a house or served to a house, but there are jokes. "What kind of salad do termites eat? House salad"…
“When the airplane door shuts & the seat next to you is open it feels like you just won the lottery”
"When the plane door shuts and there’s still an empty seat next to you" (with a picture of a relieved person) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cabin doors closed…
“When the alcohol starts tasting like you don’t have social anxiety anymore”
"Who knows how to dance merengue?" is spoken by Gabby in a five-second TikTok video by peachesandthemangoz on April 28, 2022. "When the alcohol starts tasting like you don't…
“When the axe came into the forest, the trees said: ‘The handle is one of us’” (proverb)
A proverb about voting has been printed on many images. An axe comes into the forest; because its handle is wood, the trees were comforted. The mission of the axe, of course, was to destroy the…
“When the Berlin Wall fell, which side did the people run to?”
Germany's Berlin Wall separated east and west Germany from 1961 until 1989, When the wall came down, most people escaped communist East Berlin into West Berlin. “Youth ask your history…
“When the boy was making pancakes, why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it”
A pancake riddle is: Q: When the little boy was making pancakes why did the batter run away?A: Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it. The jokes differ on whether it is the boy/baker or the…
“When the butter melted, it was rendered useless”
"Rendered butter" is a process (rendering) that creates more concentrated butter. It is not related to the expression "to render (something) useless," but there are puns.…
“When the cannibal came late for dinner, they gave him the cold shoulder”
"Cold shoulder" originally meant cold cuts of meat -- not literally a person's shoulder -- but there's a popular cannibal joke: "What did the cannibal get when he was late…