“Waiting for my thighs to socially distance themselves”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in people "social distancing" themselves from others. "Waiting for my thighs to socially distance themselves" -- that is, the speaker…
Food/Drink
“Waiting for the other shoe to drop” (business idiom)
"Waiting for the other shoe to drop" is a popular business idiom. A person wears two shoes; when a person takes off one shoe and drops it on the floor, it's expected that the other…
“Waiting in traffic is like getting in line to go to work”
People often get stuck in traffic on the way to work. "Traffic is depressing. It's just waiting in line to go to work" was posted on Twitter by Jebb Sinclair on September 7, 2013.…
“Waitress says ‘Say when’ when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan”
"Waitress says 'Say when' when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan. There are no survivors" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu, please?” (joke)
A restaurant joke is: MALE CUSTOMER: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu, please?WAITRESS: The men I please are none of your damn business! The joke was posted by "AnOnion"…
“Waitress: Any intolerances? Diner: Well, I can be a bit racist.”
A restaurant often asks about intolerances -- that is, food intolerances. "At a restaurant that asks you to let them know if you have any intolerances. Yep, people who don't indicate…
“Waitress: Do you have any questions about the menu? Diner: What kind of font is this?”
A typical restaurant question can have a jocular answer: Waitress: Do you have any questions about the menu?Diner: Yes. What kind of font is this? The joke was popularized by American actor Rainn…
“Waitress: Sorry about your wait. Diner: Well, I’ve been doing my best to lose it.”
A restaurant joke was posted on Twitter on July 13, 2010: Waitress:"Sorry about your wait" Me:"So is my dietician," Another version of the "wait"/"weight"…
“Waitress: Sorry we’re out of pie. Me: (knows math) That is literally impossible.”
"Pi" (an irrational number) shouldn't be confused with "pie" (a food), but there are jokes. "Waitress: sorry we’re out of pie Me: (knows math) that is literally…
“Wake me up when Kirby dies” (theatre saying)
Manhattan's Chatham Street Theatre (Chatham Street is now called Park Row) in the 1840s offered cheap admission, and was attended by New York's lower classes. J. Hudson Kirby (1810-1848)…
“Wake up and smell the bagels”
"Wake up!” is an admonition for someone to get a true sense of reality. People often eat bagels in the morning; the full phrase of “Wake up and smell the bagels!” is cited in print from…
“Wake up and smell the breakfast tacos”
"Wake up and smell the coffee" is a saying that has been cited in print since at least 1943. "Breakfast tacos" is a specialty of Austin, Texas. "Wake up and smell the…
“Wake up and smell the coffee”
"Wake up!" is an admonition for someone to get a true sense of reality. People often drink coffee in the morning; the full phrase of "Wake up and smell the coffee!" has been…
“Wake up and spill the coffee”
"Wake up and spill the coffee" is a saying that means that the listener should be awake to reality. "Wake up and spill the coffee" is a jocular version that has been printed on…
“Wake up determined—go to bed satisfied”
"Wake up with determination -- go to bed with satisfaction" (or "wake up determined -- go to bed satisfied") is a saying that has been printed on many posters. George Latimer…
“Wake up on Monday and start your day with a lot of awesomeness and you will get happiness back”
"Wake up on Monday and start your day with a lot of awesomeness and you will get happiness back" is a Monday motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is the…
“Wake up, drink coffee & punch today in the face”
"Wake up, drink coffee & punch today in the face" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on April 10, 2014. TwitterAlex…
“Wake up, take a coffee and say cheers to life”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter Emad R. Y. Michel @worldofsemsem Wake up, take a Coffee and say Cheers to Life☕️💚❤️ Photo:@SophiaSkyHigh 3:15 AM · May 4, 2025
“Wake up. Drink coffee. Hug dog. Repeat”
"Wake up. Drink coffee. Hug dog. Repeat" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Wake up, kiss dog, drink coffee, repeat" was posted on Twitter by Kelsey…
“Wake up. Drink coffee. Kick ass. Repeat”
"Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Wake Up, Kick ass, Repeat = WUKAR. Live it!" was posted on Twitter by Rev Big Ring on…