“Sometimes, when I’m not that hungry, I shop at Half Foods”
Whole Foods Market can be expensive, so some people joke that they shop at Half Foods. "I grew up so poor we had to do all our grocery shopping at Half Foods. #jokesiwroteforsteveharvey"…
Food/Drink
“Somewhere between a donut and a juice cleanse”
"Somewhere between a donut/doughnut and a juice cleanse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker is somewhere between doing something bad for the body and…
“Somewhere between a doughnut and a juice cleanse”
"Somewhere between a donut/doughnut and a juice cleanse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker is somewhere between doing something bad for the body and…
“Somewhere between a juice cleanse and a donut”
"Somewhere between a donut/doughnut and a juice cleanse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker is somewhere between doing something bad for the body and…
“Somewhere between living and dreaming, there’s New York City”
"Somewhere between living and dreaming, there's New York (City)" is a New York City saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Somewhere between living…
“Somewhere between living and dreaming, there’s New York”
"Somewhere between living and dreaming, there's New York (City)" is a New York City saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Somewhere between living…
“Somewhere there’s a bottle of Caesar salad dressing with an expiration date of March 15”
"Caesar salad" (a salad of romaine lettuce and croutons) has nothing to do with Julius Caesar, the Roman emperor who was assassinated on March 15th ("the Ides of March"). The…
“Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I just know it”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. Many people wore the masks even at home. "Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I just know…
“Son, you’re just not cut out to be a mime.”/“Is it something I said?”/“Yes.”
A mime joke is: FATHER: Son, you're just not cut out to be a mime.SON: Is it something I said?FATHER: Yes. The joke was posted on Twitter by Tommytoughstuff on September 27, 2014.…
“Son: Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up” (joke)
A joke about politics was posted on X/Twitter by Dad Jokes on October 14, 2018: Son: “Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.” Dad: “Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind?…
“Song and dance” (slang, “false story”)
The slang term "song and dance" (meaning an elaborately contrived story, told to evade the truth) possibly originated from New York City. An 1897 story in Harper's Weekly on…
“Sopes are just flat tacos”
Several Mexican foods have been described as "flat tacos." Tostadas are most frequently described as flat tacos, but the description has also been applied to chalupas, Mexican pizza,…
“Sore. The most satisfying pain”
"Sore. The most satisfying pain" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Sore, The most satisfying feeling" is a similar saying. YourTango50 Motivational…
“Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. I have a wee cough” (joke)
"A week off" sounds like "a wee cough." "OUR DAILY SONG HIT: 'I Have a Wee Cough, So I'll Take a Week Off'" was printed in a 1924 newspaper.…
“Sorry for anything I said when it was 109° outside”
"Sorry for anything I said when it was 109° outside" -- very hot -- is a jocular summer saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on X/Twitter by mark on July…
“Sorry for driving so close in front of you” (bumper sticker)
"Sorry for driving so close in front of you" is a jocular saying about tailgating that has been printed on many bumper stickers. The bumper sticker saying has been cited in print since at…
“Sorry for driving the speed limit. Some of us have warrants” (bumper sticker)
"Sorry for driving/going the speed limit. Some of us have warrants" (or "This vehicle is GPS monitored. Sorry for doing the speed limit") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that…
“Sorry for going the speed limit. Some of us have warrants” (bumper sticker)
"Sorry for driving/going the speed limit. Some of us have warrants" (or "This vehicle is GPS monitored. Sorry for doing the speed limit") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that…
“Sorry for the inconvenience. We are trying to change the world”
"Sorry for the inconvenience. We are trying to change the world" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The sign was used at the Occupy Wall Street protests in 2011.…
“Sorry I’m late. Traffic is exactly how it’s been every day and I was not expecting that”
Many people who are late for work use the traffic as an excuse. However, the traffic is often bad every day. A joke was posted on Twitter by Karen Kilgariff on November 17, 2019: "Sorry I’m…