“‘Your network connection is unstable’— yeah well so am I and I still work”
A communication network is sometimes "unstable" and stops working. "'Your network connection is unstable' … ye well so am I and I still work" was posted on Facebook…
Food/Drink
“‘Your password is weak’ well so is my memory so plz let me keep it”
"'Your password is weak' well so is my memory so plz let me keep it" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations.…
“‘Yum, kipper!’—a Jewish man enjoying his breakfast on the Day of Atonement”
Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement) shouldn't be confused with kipper (a fish that is often eaten for breakfast), but there are jokes. "Celebrating this Jewish holiday with a fish…
“(I Like New York in June) How About You?” (1941)
"How About You" is often titled from the lyrics that occur before this, "I like New York in June." It's from the movie musical Babes on Broadway (1941) and has music by…
“(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box” (1954)
"(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box" is a 1954 novelty song by The Toppers. Robin Byrd (www.robinbyrd.com) plays the song at the end of her Manhattan cable tv sex show, "The…
“(I will gladly pay you Tuesday for) A hamburger today”
"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" was spoken by the comic character J. Wellington Wimpy in E. C. Segar's 1930s comic strip "Thimble Theatre," featuring…
“(I’ll give you my gun when you take it) From my cold, dead hands”
"I will give up my gun when they pry my cold, dead fingers from around it" is a bumper sticker slogan supporting gun rights and dating from at least March 1972. "I'll give up my…
“(Liar, liar) Pants on fire”
The St. Petersburg (FL) Times originated in 2007 a website, Politifact.com, to check political facts. Statements are judged on a "Truth-O-Meter" with grades of True, Mostly True, Half…
“(Not for) All the tea in China”
"All the tea in China" means a great amount; the Chinese grow and consume large amounts of tea. "Not for all the tea in China" means that someone won't do something, even…
“(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch”
"(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch" has been a gambling saying since at least 1937. The saying was also adopted by the racetrack, with this ending: "Get a hunch and bet a bunch --…
“[Driving] Wife: You missed a right. Me: Thanks babe – you MRS right.”
"Missed a right (turn)" can sound like "Mr. Right." "While I was driving, her: Honey, you missed a right. Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs right" was posted on Reddit --…
“[X] walks into a bar…and lowers it” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "[X] walks into a bar...and lowers it" is a popular form of the joke, where…
“*drinks water with lemon* This is going to fix everything”
"*drinks water with lemon* This is going to fix everything" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The lemon slice/wedge that is added to water in some restaurants does…
“*gently puts my mental health in rice*”
"*gently puts my mental health in rice*" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A phone that fell into the toilet can possibly be revived after being put in uncooked rice, but…
“*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it”
Celery, to many people, tastes like water with strings in it. "*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it" was posted on Twitter by Knives McGee on December 6,…
“$1,000 isn’t a lot of money to have, but it is a lot to owe”
"Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own" (or "Being an adult is realizing that $1,000 is little money to have, but a lot to…
“$100 is basically an adult dollar”
"$20 is like an adult dollar" is a saying that has been printed on several images. $100 has also been called an adult dollar. That is, just a dollar doesn't have significant value…
“$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered”
College textbooks are expensive. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 3, 2018: "$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered."…
“$20 is like an adult dollar”
"$20 is like an adult dollar" is a saying that has been printed on several images. $100 has also been called an adult dollar. That is, just a dollar doesn't have significant value…
“1. Bel canto, 2. Can belto, 3. Can’t belto, 4. Can’t canto” (four stages of a soprano’s life)
New York-born Ira Siff created La Gran Scena Opera Co. in 1981, often featuring Siff's diva character, Madame Vera Galupe-Borszkh. In the recording "Forgeef Me My Enklish": the Wit…