“Don’t tell anytwo, but I suck at math”
There is the word "anyone," but not "anytwo." "Monday math class anyone? Anytwo? Anythree? Monday bloody monday" was posted on Twitter by AdhikaRahmanto on December…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dog”
"You don't get to tell me what to do, you're not my dog" (also "Don't tell me what to do, you're not my dog" and "You can't tell me what to do,…
“Don’t tell my mother I’m a banker—she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse”
"Don't tell my mother I'm a banker -- she thinks I play piano in a bordello/brothel/cat house/whorehouse" is a joke about how little people think of bankers. The joke began…
“Don’t tell my mother I’m a politician—she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse”
"Don't tell my mother I'm a politician -- she thinks I play piano in a bordello/brothel/cat house/whorehouse" is a joke about how little people think of politicians. The joke…
“Don’t tell people your plans. Show them your results”
"Don't tell people your plans. Show them your results" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many posters. "Stop telling them about your plans but show them your…
“Don’t think of yourself as a meme thief. The official title is Social Media Redistribution agent”
Many people share memes on social media -- or is it stealing? "Don't think of yourself as a meme thief. The official title is Social Media Redistribution agent" (shown on an image)…
“Don’t throw away cake to start looking for crumbs”
The "Dear Abby" syndicated newspaper advice column by Abigail Van Buren (the pen name, written by Pauline Phillips and her daughter Jeanine Phillips) in February 1991 answered a letter…
“Don’t touch that dial!”
"Don't touch that dial!" is said going into a radio or television commercial (or the next show), telling the listener or viewer to stay tuned to the station. "Ah-ah-ah!…
“Don’t touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the doohickey not work with the thingamabob”
Folksy "placeholder" words sound more ridiculous in the same sentence. "I've told them a hundred times 'Don't touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the…
“Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are”
"Don't treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is similar to the "golden rule."…
“Don’t trust anyone that orders a medium pizza”
Many people cannot understand how anyone orders a medium pizza. One should always order a large pizza, even if there is leftover pizza. "@FabMissK: 'Pl[a]ybook is like a medium pizza. Who…
“Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar”
"Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust" (or "Don't/Never trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar”
"Salt and sugar look the same. Be careful who you trust" (or "Don't/Never trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Don’t trust people that do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers”
"Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers" is a classic joke about acupuncture. The joke was posted on the website "Pun of the Day" on October 28,…
“Don’t underestimate yourself. You can do hard things. Like making coffee in the morning…”
"Don't underestimate yourself. You can do hard things. Like making coffee in the morning before you've had any coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Don’t update your status when you’re drunk”
"Never go shopping when you're hungry" is a saying that became popular in the 1970s. "THree rules to live by" were first posted on Twitter on April 17, 2012: 1. Don't…
“Don’t update your status when you’re drunk”
"Never go shopping when you're hungry" is a saying that became popular in the 1970s. "THree rules to live by" were first posted on Twitter on April 17, 2012: 1. Don't…
“Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression…”
"Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity" is a jocular expression that has…
“Don’t use your fridge as a morgue”
"Is your refrigerator a morgue or a garden?" (that is, containing mostly animal products or mostly plant products) is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "Is your…
“Don’t vote—it only encourages them”
"Don't vote -- it only encourages them" is a joke that television comedian Jack Paar told in May 1966. During the presidential election year of 1976, the saying was put on buttons…