“Dom Pérignon implies the existence of Submissive Pérignon”
Dom Pérignon is a brand of vintage Champagne. Dom Pérignon has nothing to do with "dominance and submission" or "dom/sub," but there are jokes. "Dom Perignon in the…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Dominant chords imply the existence of submissive chords”
In music theory, there is a dominant chord, but no submissive chord. "Dominant chords and submissive chords #musicjokes #music" was posted on twitter by Matt Hues on June 26, 2012.…
“Don’t agonize, organize”
"Don't agonize, organize" was a 1970s slogan of the women's movement, specifically the older women's movement for civil rights. Both Florynce Kennedy (1916-2000) and Tish…
“Don’t applaud—just throw cash”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t applaud—just throw money”
"No applause -- just throw money" is an entertainment gag line of uncertain authorship. Some insist that the line is from vaudeville in the early 1900s, but it has been cited in print…
“Don’t argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That’s probably who you’re arguing with”
"Don't argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That's probably who you're arguing with" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Don’t ask me about my protein and I won’t ask you about your cholesterol”
Vegans are often asked about how they get enough protein in their diets. "Don't ask me about my protein and I won't ask you about your cholesterol" is a vegan saying that has…
“Don’t ask me why I’m a vegetarian. Ask yourself why you’re not”
"Don't ask me why I'm vegan. Ask yourself why you're not" and "Don't ask me why I'm a vegetarian. Ask yourself why you're not" are sayings that…
“Don’t ask me why I’m vegan. Ask yourself why you’re not”
"Don't ask me why I'm vegan. Ask yourself why you're not" and "Don't ask me why I'm a vegetarian. Ask yourself why you're not" are sayings that…
“Don’t ask why children need to see drag queens. Ask why drag queens crave an audience of children”
"Don't ask why children need to see drag queens. Ask why drag queens crave an audience of children" (or "Ask not why the children shouldn’t see drag queens; ask why drag…
“Don’t ask why health food is so expensive. Ask why junk food is so cheap”
"Don't ask why health food is so expensive. Ask why junk food is so cheap" is a food saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 20,…
“Don’t ask why I need an AR-15. Ask why an IRS agent needs one”
“Why does anyone need an AR-15 rifle?” is a popular meme. It's sometimes explained that "need" doesn't have to be known because of the Second Amendment in the Bill of Rights…
“Don’t back no losers” (“Don’t make no waves, don’t back no losers”)
Milton L. Rakove's book, Don't make no waves; Don't back no losers: An insider's analysis of the Daley machine (1975), included these classic Chicago political rules: "I…
“Don’t be a dick for a tick”
"Don't be a dick for a tick" is a financial adage meaning that one shouldn't negate a trade ("be a dick") by making it conditioned on something small (such as a…
“Don’t be a jabroni. Eat your ravioli”
Dwayne Johnson (known as "The Rock") was a wrestling star in the 1990s. The slang "jabroni" (meaning "a foolish person") was his catchword. In a 1999 television…
“Don’t be a part of the problem. Be the whole problem”
"Don't be (a) part of the problem. Be the whole problem" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't be part of the problem, be the whole problem" was…
“Don’t be a speaker, be an expert who speaks”
"Don't be a speaker, be an expert who speaks" is one bit of advice in the speaking business. The saying has been popularized by Scott Stratten of UnMarketing.com since at least 2009.…
“Don’t be afraid of being outnumbered. Eagles fly alone. Pigeons flock together”
"Don't be afraid of being outnumbered. Eagles fly alone. Pigeons flock together" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Pigeons flock together...Eagles…
“Don’t be dismayed, be disjuned”
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Good morning, everyone. It's June 1. We are disMAYed" was posted on Twitter by El Gecko on…
“Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum”
"Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum" is a rhyme that has been included in several collections of sayings about alcohol. “Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum" has been cited in…