"Sorry, it’s my first day on the job" is a popular employee work excuse. This was posted on X/Twitter by makayla on May 19, 2021, and received over 728,000 likes: "i once worked…
"I accept apologies in cash" was posted on Twitter by Luke Sparke on June 3, 2009. "I accept apologies in cash, cheesecake or chocolate" was posted on Twitter by Abhi Gupta on…
The term "rare coins" is often paired with "common cents" (a pun on "common sense"). "Thieves arrested after stealing nearly $69,000 in rare coins. So much for…
"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person, and that person drinks a lot" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Kelkulus"…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only eat in three places: here, there and everywhere" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is from Daniel L. Worona and was printed in his…
"I only have a kitchen because it came with the house" is a humorous saying that has been printed on many gift items since at least 2004. The saying means that the house has a kitchen,…
Many people are lactose intolerant and have to give up dairy, but find it difficult to do that. This was posted on X/Twitter by trash jones on March 29, 2023, and it received over 2,700 likes:…
The "I Love New York" campaign of the 1970s featured the popular "I (heart) NY" T-shirts. Snorg Tees developed a parody T-shirt in April 2009 -- "I only like NY as a…
Entry in progress -- B.P."I only need coffee on days ending with the letter 'Y'" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterGlenn Murray…
"Mornings: I only need one cup of coffee, but I'm going to have five just to be safe" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "Mornings: I only need one cup…
"Safe sex" is sometimes joked to be sex in a bank vault (a safe). "A woman that thinks safe sex is making love in a bank vault and that ironing is bench pressing 300 lbs." was…
Nathan Hale is celebrated as America's first spy. He was hung by British forces in New York City on September 22, 1776, and various memorials in the city celebrate his story. His now-famous…
A theater program often says that Act II has the same location as Act I, or that Act II takes place a year later than Act I. There are jokes about both. "I only saw Act I. The program said…
A theater program often says that Act II has the same location as Act I, or that Act II takes place a year later than Act I. There are jokes about both. "I only saw Act I. The program said…
Many people immediately fall in love with dogs. "I be saying I love you to dogs I just met 4 seconds ago... And I’ll mean that shit too 🐶 ❤️" was posted on X/Twitter by Papa…