"I only practice safe sex in bank vaults"

“Safe sex” is sometimes joked to be sex in a bank vault (a safe). “A woman that thinks safe sex is making love in a bank vault and that ironing is bench pressing 300 lbs.” was posted on the newsgroup ba.personals on September 15, 1995. “@THE_REAL_SHAQ yo momma so stupid, I said let’s have safe sex & she took us to the bank vault” was posted on Twitter by Pauly Boy on October 16, 2009.

“I only practice safe sex in bank vaults” was posted on Reddit—Oneliners on July 21, 2018.

Google Groups: ba.personals
Looking for that special someone ...
Mark Wiley
9/15/95
(...)
A woman that thinks safe sex is making love in a bank vault and that ironing is bench pressing 300 lbs.

Google Groups: ba.singles
Safe Sex—Get Paid!
Noreen Mastascusa
11/25/95
Michael Snyder (.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)) wrote:
: So has anybody checked out this oddly persistent ad on the back of \
: the free newsrags? What’s the scam?

Maybe they want you to have sex in a bank vault.

Google Groups: alt.religion.christian.roman-catholic
Safe SEX Guide
Dick Tater
4/18/06
(...)
> Isn’t ‘safe sex’ for people that have a fetish for bank vaults?
>

I tried to have safe sex once. But the hole was too small.

Twitter
Pauly Boy
@ILuvPaulyBoy
Replying to @SHAQ
@THE_REAL_SHAQ yo momma so stupid, I said let’s have safe sex & she took us to the bank vault
5:07 AM - 16 Oct 2009

Twitter
P. Fish
@Fishstx
Practice safe sex: fuck a bank vault.
12:32 AM - 19 Feb 2011

Twitter
The Snack Lord
@djjuggy
If two bank vaults had sex, would that be considered “safe sex”? #pride
8:04 PM - 5 Jun 2011

Twitter
Stephanie.
@stefinkredible
RT @KevinWithAnL: Sex in Bank vaults…that’s safe sex! Cc @SlevinCalevra
5:10 AM - 9 Jun 2011

Twitter
Michael Kor Diba
@SANTANDIBA
My friend enjoys making love to bank vaults.
He’s into safe sex.
1:23 PM - 7 Aug 2011

Twitter
LOL LMAO
@TeamYabaLeft
We have sex in bank vaults to practice safe sex.
3:48 PM - 10 Feb 2012

Twitter
Ella Gale
@hellakale
Practice safe sex (bone in bank vaults)
8:18 PM - 30 Jun 2017

Reddit—Jokes
Let’s talk about safe sex!
submitted January 14, 2018 by Henri_Dupont
Do you think they’d close the door on the bank vault while we do it?

Twitter
Jay
@Jay1972Jay
Replying to @LMHPhotog
‘Safe Sex’ is doing it in a bank vault.
10:12 PM - 17 May 2018

Reddit—Oneliners
I only practice safe sex in bank vaults.
submitted July 21, 2018 by weallhaveourthing