The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home. "Might Stay In The Spare Bedroom Tonight And Pretend I'm In A Hotel..." was posted on Facebook by Daniel…
"I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same" is a jocular line about running -- or not running -- that has been printed on…
"Raw dog" usually means sexual intercourse without a condom. The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in requirements to wear face masks, and "raw dog oxygen" (or…
"I miss my wife's cooking -- as often as I can" is a popular joke of uncertain origin. "I miss my wife's cooking — whenever I get a chance!" was cited in print in…
American actor and stand-up comedian Emo Phillips once lived and worked in New York City, and his act included a joke about the city's smell. "When I leave new york I get homesick, so i…
"I miss skipping school. Calling out of work is too serious" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I miss skipping school. Calling out of work is too serious 😅"…
"I miss the 90s when bread was still good for you and nobody knew what kale was" is a saying that has been printd on many images. Many people like bread and hate kale. Authorship of the…
"Employee appreciation" at many companies is not what it used to be. This was posted on Facebook by Work Memes on July 3, 2025, and it received over 2,100 shares: "I miss the days…
When a student misses or fails an exam, he or she often has to take a "makeup test." It does not involve cosmetics, but there are several puns, such as this one from 2002: "The other…
A "strip mall" doesn't have anything to do with "stripping," but there are jokes. "Apparently, I misunderstood the meaning of “strip mall.” Can someone bring me…
There's an irony that people use a driver's license to buy alcohol. "I mostly use my driver's license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive" was posted on Reddit --…
There's an irony that people use a driver's license to buy alcohol. "I mostly use my driver's license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive" was posted on Reddit --…
Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929- 1968) gave the sermon "Loving Your Enemies" in Ebenezer Baptist Church on Sunday morning, August 12, 1962: "The process of returning hate for hate only…
A "story" ("storey" in the United Kingdom) is another floor of a building. One joke is: "I moved into a bungalow recently. Was going to move into a house, but that's…
A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…
Anita Weiss was credited in 1993 for having said: "I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and it was the only place where my fears were justified." The quotation has…
Bob Uecker has a mediocre baseball playing career, but he achieved fame joking about it. In a Miller Lite beer commercial from 1984, Uecker says that the front office has given him tickets and he…
"I must get up. My coffee needs me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I should get up. My coffee needs me" was posted on Twitter on February 24,…
"I must have money because I still have checks left" is a humorous line about someone who can't budget money. "How could I be overdrawn? -- I still have checks left"…
"I named my eraser Confidence. Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Cleanjokes on June 20, 2013. "Smaller and smaller" is…