“I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders…” (joke)
"I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders, when they said they do, I told them 'run outside naked!'" is a jocular line that has been popular on Twitter. The…
Archive for /P30080
“Holy jalapeño!”
"Holy jalapeño!" is an expression of surprise or astonishment that has been cited in print since at least 1977. Several foods with jalapeño peppers have been named "Holy…
“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?” (joke)
One of the most popular of all Christmas jokes is: "Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit." The joke has…
“A bar without gin is like an Italian kitchen without pasta”
Gin is essential for a bar. "A bar without gin is like an Italian kitchen without pasta" is a saying that has been cited in print since at least 2002. It's not known who authored the…
“When you promote a good engineer to manager, you may get a bad manager and lose a good engineer”
"When you promote a good engineer to manager, you may get a bad manager and lose a good engineer" is a popular saying of unknown authorship. "One loses a good contributor and gets a…
“If the customers catch a cold, the manufacturers catch pneumonia”
A business relies on the financial health of its customers. "If the customers (especially large customers) catch a cold, the manufacturers catch pneumonia" is a business adage.…
“Why will there never be a coup d’état in Washington, D.C.?” (joke)
American influence (through American embassies) has caused many revolutions throughout the world. A political joke has been told since at least 1995: Q: Why will then never be a coup d'état…
“Protect your bagels. Put lox on them”
New York Pastrami Factory (333 East 23rd Street in Manhattan) was cited in March 1983 for this jocular sign in a window: "Protect your bagels. Put lox on them." The line (a pun on the…
“Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still”
Samuel Butler (1613-1680) wrote in his English mock heroic narrative poem Hudibras (1678): "He that complies against his willIs of his own opinion still." "Men convinced against…
“What did the grape say when it was crushed?” (joke)
"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?" begins a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1964. "Nothing. It just gave a little wine." The joke has…
“You are your best career adviser”
"You are your best career adviser/counselor/manager" is a popular saying in human resources. "You are your best career manager" was cited in print in a 1986 U.S. military…
“Creativity is intelligence having fun”
"Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun" was written by George Scialabba (Class of 1969) in Harvard Magazine in 1983. The citation was quoted in The Reader's Digest.…
“There was a fight at the fish and chip shop. The fish got battered”
"Did you hear the one about the fight in the fish shop?" goes a joke that has been cited in print since at least 2006. "The fish got battered." It's not known who first…
“Courtesy Counts: Manners Make a Better Ride” (bus and subway slogan)
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) began an advertising campaign in 2014 to encourage riders to have better manners in an attempt to prevent "manspreading" and other ills.…
“If you’re white, it’s all right”
American blues songwriter Big Bill Broonzy (1893-1958) wrote in "Black, Brown and White" (1947): "If you're white, it's all right --If you're brown, stick around --…
“Do your talking on the field”
"Do your talking on the field/court" means that one should concentrate less on the sportswriters and concentrate more on the performance, letting that speak for itself. "He prefers…
“I can’t breathe” (anti-police brutality slogan)
Eric Garner died in Staten Island on July 17, 2014. A police officer had grabbed his neck (seemingly choking Garner), and a video of the incident recorded Garner saying, "I can't…
Manspreading
"Manspreading" is when a man -- although the term could also apply to a woman -- spreads his legs on the subway and takes up more than one subway seat. New York's Metropolitan…
“My mother taught me about the science of osmosis—‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper!’”
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" is what a parent might say to a child -- although food can't get in the mouth if it's shut. "Some of the funniest memories came from…
“Never mix the grape and the grain” (drinking adage)
"Never mix the grape and the grain" is a drinking adage of unknown authorship. "I will not mix the grape and the grain" was cited in 1940. "Never mix the grain and the…