“What’s the hardest thing about skydiving?”/“The ground.”
A riddle about the sport of skydiving is: Q: What's the hardest thing about skydiving?A: The ground The riddle was posted to the newsgroup rec.skydiving on February 23, 1998. Google Groups:…
Archive for /P26600
“How do trees get on the internet?”/“They log in.”
An internet riddle is: Q: How do trees get on the internet?A: They log in. "Q: How do trees get onto the internet? A: They log on" was posted to the newsgroup alt.cuddle on October 7,…
“Two deer walk out of a gay bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A deer version is: "Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One turns to the other and says,…
“Hey girl, are you in the proletariat? Because I feel an uprising in my lower class”
A joke pick-up line from German philosopher and economist Karl Marx (1818-1883) was posted on Twitter on November 11. 2009: Pick up line of the day...Karl Marx: "When do you get off work?…
“We’re talking about a wonderful day when no one diets. Why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in a Thanksgiving newspaper column in November 1981: "Sometimes I feel the real meaning of Thanksgiving is lost in a flurry of turkey, prayers…
“The hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the almonds”
"The hardest part about being vegan is having to wake up at 5am to milk all the almonds" is a jocular line about almond milk that was posted on Twitter on May 24, 2013. "The hardest…
“What kind of pasta is made from horses?”/“Spaghetti bowl o’ neighs.”
"Spaghetti Bolognese" becomes the jocular dish of "spaghetti bowl of neighs" if it's made of horsemeat, or if horses like to eat it. "Spaghetti Bowl of Neighs"…
“Poverty is hereditary – you get it from your children”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Phyllis DullerPhyllis Ada Driver (July 17, 1917 – August 20, 2012), better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress and voice…
“What did the wicked chicken lay?”/“Deviled eggs.”
A riddle about deviled eggs is: Q: What did the wicked chicken lay?A: Deviled eggs. The riddle -- with some variations, such as "evil" for "wicked" and "hen" for…
“I stepped on a cornflake this morning. I’m a cereal killer now”
"I stepped on a cornflake this morning. I'm a cereal killer now" -- a pun on "serial killer" -- is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Oh. My. God. I stepped…
“What do you call a bunch of bad chemistry students?”/“Molasses.”
Various chemistry jokes have "molasses" (mole + asses) in the punchlines. "Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see? A: A mole of molasses" has…
“I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix. Anybody got a punch line?”
A joke about Kool-Aid (or another fruit-flavored powdered drink mix) is: " I have an addiction to snorting Kool-Aid (powdered drink mix). Anybody got a punch line?" "I'm so…
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor”
American comedian Phyllis Diller is credited with a popular Thanksgiving line: “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” The Japanese military attack…
“Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving”
"Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey -- until Thanksgiving" is a saying that has been printed on many images, usually credited to American magazine reporter Mike Connolly…
“What do you call cheese that is sad?”/“Bleu cheese.”
Does bleu cheese get the blues? A bleu cheese riddle is: Q: What do you call cheese that is sad?A: Bleu cheese. The cheesy joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Civilization Fanatics…
“Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He’s 0K now”
A science joke about the Kelvin scale has been printed on several images: "Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He's 0K now." The joke was first posted on…
“What do you call a bunch of bad chemistry students?”/“Molasses.”
Various chemistry jokes have "molasses" (mole + asses) in the punchlines. "Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see? A: A mole of molasses" has…
“Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker”
The website Pun of the Day posted this pun by Rick Kelso (of Kansas) on September 14, 2016: "Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker." The…
“I hate people who take drugs. Like cops, DEA agents and customs officials”
"I hate people who take drugs. Like cops, DEA agents and customs officials" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. "'I hate people who take drugs - people…
“Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton”
A "wonton" dumpling sounds like "one ton," and there's a pun: "Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton." The jocular one-line saying was posted on…