“The fork spooned the knife, so the spoon knifed the fork”
"The fork spooned the knife, so the spoon knifed the fork" is a jocular, pun-filled saying about cutlery. The joke was posted on Twitter on November 23, 2013 and originated in The Tiny…
Archive for /P25180
“If I had a dollar for every time someone said I was racist…” (joke)
A politically incorrect joke is: "If I had a dollar for every time someone said I was racist, a black guy would rob me." "If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist…
“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair”
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair" is a jocular saying about getting along with others (such as co-workers) that has been printed on many images. "You…
“In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the party always finds you”
Soviet-born American comedian Yakov Smirnoff told a popular "Russian reversal" joke about the Soviet Union: In America, you can always find a party. In (Soviet) Russia, Party always finds…
“My college graduation was in an arena, and it was hot in there, like 5,000 degrees”
Many college graduations are held inside in arenas, where over 1,000 degrees may be handed out. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 26, 2017: "My college graduation was held inside the…
“We’re all just kids posing as professionals, counting the days until Friday”
"We’re all just kids posing as professionals, counting the days until Friday" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder”
Google Images is a collection of images by the Google search engine. The top images are usually the most relevant. A popular joke is: "Google image results are like a party that starts off…
“Water your mind to grow your soul”
"Water your mind to grow your soul" is an educational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on June 26, 2016 and probably originated on The Minds…
“What do you call an atheist business?”/“A non-prophet organization.”
"Prophet" is sometimes used in business puns for the word "profit." "Atheism is a non-prophet organization" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1988.…
“What is a customary greeting from a cannibal?”/“He presents you with a handshake.”
A "handshake" is very different from a "milk shake," but there have been several cannibal jokes. "Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his porch? So he could greet…
“I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage, but I can park anywhere”
UPS delivery drivers get plenty of parking tickets, but the vehicles are still often parked where regular cars cannot. A joke is: "I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage, but I can…
“I’ve studied Basic Human Anatomy so much that I know it like the back of my hand”
To "know something like the back of one's hand" is to know it very well. A student joke applies this expression to a human anatomy test. "Going to Anatomy. I know this like the…
“Why is American beer served cold?”/“So you can tell it from urine.”
A European joke about American beer is: Q: Why is American beer served cold?A: So you can tell it from urine. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. David Moulton has been credited…
“No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side”
"No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side of things" is a one-line motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "But few people impair their…
“What does the military use acid for?”/“To neutralize the enemy base.”
A chemistry joke is: Q: What does the military use acid for?A: To neutralize the enemy base. The military riddle was posted on Twitter on July 28, 2016. TwitterPuns @TheFunnyWorIdDead…
“If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks…” (joke)
"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks, then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m quite busy”
"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy" is jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "It might look like…
“What do you call a funny fortune cookie?”/“An inside joke.”
A fortune cookie riddle is: Q: What do you call a funny fortune cookie?A: An inside joke. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 25, 2017. Wikipedia: Fortune cookieA fortune cookie is a…
Backpack Journalism; Backpack Journalist
"Backpack journalism" describes a reporter ("backpack journalist") who uses new technology -- often placed in a backpack -- to be a reporter, photographer and videographer, all…
“Believing in yourself is the first secret to success”
"Believing in yourself is the first secret to success" is a one-line motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), lecturing…