“Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it’s not their own”
"Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it's not their own" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "J. B. Steam's Homily: Success is like a…
Archive for /P23740
“A 20 Hz sine wave walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar. The bartender asks,…
“What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?”/“Lots of blood tests.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?A: Lots of blood tests. The popular Halloween joke has been cited in print since at least 1986. Google Books696 Silly…
“What is a ghost’s favorite game?”/“Hide-and-ghost-seek.”
A popular Halloween riddle on the game of "hide-and-seek" (or "hide-and-go-seek") is: Q: What is a ghost's favorite game?A: Hide-and-ghost-seek. Hide and Ghost Seek: A…
“In school, kids are grouped by date of manufacture”
Students in school are usually grouped by age ("date of manufacture"). "Is your child provided with opportunities to learn with those who share his passions and interests or just…
“I forgot the French word for strawberry, so I looked it up in a fraise book”
"Fraise" is the French word for "strawberry." "When going on a strawberry-picking holiday in France, my advice is to get a good fraise book" was posted on Twitter on…
“What did the Italian say after he ate an eel pizza?”/“That’s a moray.”
The 1953 song "That's Amore" has the famous line, "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore!" The Italian word "amore" means…
“A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar. The bartender asks,…
“Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?”/“He didn’t have the stomach for it.”
A skeleton riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on September 29, 2000: Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it! A similar…
“What is musical and handy in a supermarket?”/“A Chopin Liszt.”
The Polish composer Frédéric François Chopin's last name sounds like "shopping," and the Hungarian composer Franz Liszt's last name sounds like "list." A popular…
“What do you get when you cross a Smurf with a cow?”/“Blue cheese.”
"Smurf" cartoon characters are blue, and a riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a Smurf with a cow?A: Blue cheese. The joke was posted on Twitter on July 28, 2011 (when the movie…
“What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?”/“Frostbite.”
A popular Halloween and winter riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?A: Frostbite. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1989, and has been printed on many…
“Where does Dracula water ski?”/“On Lake Erie, of course.”
A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: Where does Dracula water ski?A: On Lake Erie (eerie), of course. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.jokes.pentium on October 8, 1998. Wikipedia: Lake…
“Where do vampires learn to suck blood?”/“Law school.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?A: Law school. The lawyer joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.prisons on September 28, 1997, and has been printed on several images.…
“What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?”/“A stake sandwich.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?A: A stake (steak) sandwich. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on October 30, 1999. “What does a vampire…
“Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?”/“He didn’t have a haunting license.”
"Haunting license" sounds a little like "hunting license." "Darn it, I forgot my haunting license!" was credited to American humorist Corey Ford (1902-1969).…
“Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?”/“Because his heart wasn’t in it.”
A skeleton riddle is: Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?A: Because his heart wasn't in it. The Halloween joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. Google…
“What do rednecks do on Halloween?”/“Pump kin.”
"Pumpkin" is sometimes punned as "pump kin." A form of the "pump kin" joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on May 21, 1990. A Thanksgiving "redneck"…
“What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?”/“She witch-hiked.”
A witch riddle is: Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?A: She witch-hiked. The Halloween joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. 21 October 1996, Kokomo (IN) Tribune,…
“What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train home?”/“He had to give it back.”
When people "take the train home," they do not literally "take" the train, but a riddle is: Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?A: He had…