“A cabbage and celery walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A food version is: "A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served…
Archive for /P23700
“Chuck E. Cheese is really just a casino for children”
Chuck E. Cheese's is a chain of entertainment restaurants. It was called Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre in 1985, and was dubbed a "Las Vegas casino for kids." "Chuck…
“A marathon runner walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A running version is: "A runner walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the…
“What flies when it’s born, lies when it’s alive, and runs when it’s dead?”/“Snow.”
A winter riddle is: Q: What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?A: Snow. The riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.rec.spot on May 5, 2000, and has…
“Onion rings are vegetable donuts”
"Onion rings are vegetable donuts" is a food saying that has been printed on several images. "Alcove onion rings are like cornbread donuts" was posted on Twitter on September 6,…
“An eel walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A eel version is: "An eel walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Back for more,…
“Quasimodo walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving the fictional character Quasimodo is: "Quasimodo walks into a bar…
“I used to date an opera singer, but it didn’t work out. She was all mi, mi, mi”
Opera singers sometimes rehearse with "mi, mi, mi" ("me, me, me"). "Old gag: Do you have to practise your opera singing so loud? You're so selfish. It's all ME ME…
“The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian”
"The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian" is a jocular saying about a "sugar daddy" that has been
“You are what you eat—minus what you excrete”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“A runner walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A running version is: "A runner walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the…
“I got kicked out of a pool for peeing in it” (joke)
A classic swimming pool joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. A lifeguard tells a swimmer that he's banned for peeing in the pool. "But everyone pees in the pool!" the…
“Tipping your waiter is like paying shipping and handling for your food”
Restaurant tipping of a waiter is sometimes compared to a shipping and handling charge. " Tipping your waiter is like paying shipping and handling for your food" was posted on Twitter on…
“When a computer overheats, it freezes”
"I find it ironic that when a computer overheats it 'freezes'" is a seemingly contradictory observation that was posted on Twitter on April 13, 2010. "Its funny how when a…
“A cabbage and celery walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A food version is: "A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served…
“Why did the bowl of soup disappear?”/“It was leek soup.”
"Leek soup" has been the subject of several "leak soup" puns. "Q: What did you do all night? A: Leak soup" was posted on the newsgroup uk.singles on December 3, 1997.…
“Disabled cookies? In my day, we called them broken biscuits”
An "HTTP cookie" is not something that's eaten, but there have been several jokes. "The internet has become too politically correct. What's all this nonsense about disabled…
“Why was the elevator mad?”/“Everyone was pushing its buttons.”
The expression "push someone's buttons" has been used in an elevator joke. "Why was the elevator so cranky? Because everyone was always pushing its buttons" was posted on…
“How does a physicist exercise?”/“By pumping ion.”
A physics riddle is: Q: How does a physicist exercise?A: By pumping ion. The pun is on the title of the 1977 bodybuilding film Pumping Iron. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.…
“The internet is too pc. Disabled cookies? In my day, they were called broken biscuits”
An "HTTP cookie" is not something that's eaten, but there have been several jokes. "The internet has become too politically correct. What's all this nonsense about disabled…