“Chess players mate better”
"Chess players mate better" is a popular chess saying that has been printed in many images. The saying -- a pun on the term "checkmate" -- has been put on bumper stickers and…
Archive for /P23640
“Prostitution is a hole sale business”
"Prostitution is a hole sale business" is a pun on the term "wholesale." The one-line saying was posted (along with similar sayings) on the newsgroup NAFL on September 23, 2005.…
“My computer crashed. Now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what’s happening”
A joke comparing a crashed computer to a crashed car -- and rubbernecking delays -- was posted on Twitter on August 5, 2013: "My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed…
“I eat the same Indian bread as everyone else. I’m a naan conformist”
"Naan" sounds like "non" and has been used in several "naan conformist" puns. "One of said friends was pigging out on the Indian bread, so I immediately accused…
“Whilst cooking today, I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes. I’m now parsley sighted”
"Got herbs in my eyes cooking last nite, now I'm parsley sighted" was posted on Twitter on March 4, 2011. "Whilst preparing dinner last night I accidentally got some herbs in my…
“I think you press ‘0’ to be connected with customer service because that’s the amount of help”
Many companies have the "press 0" telephone option to speak to a live representative. Kent Graham posted on Twitter on September 4, 2014: "I think you press '0' to be…
“The Front Page of the Internet” (Reddit slogan)
The slogan of Reddit (a discussion website) is "The Front Page of the Internet." The slogan has not been trademarked. "Looking at: reddit all -- customizable front page of the…
“Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner”
"Gambling addiction hotlines would do better if every fifth caller was a winner" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter by Jokes&Stuff FromJosh on January 23,…
“Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is also a flavor of chocolate”
There is chocolate milk, but there is also milk chocolate. "Chocolate is a flavor of milk. Milk is a flavor of chocolate" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 2, 2014.…
“A guy walks into a bar and orders fruit punch…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A fruit punch version is: "A guy walks into a bar and orders fruit punch. The…
“What kind of robbery is not dangerous?”/“A safe robbery.”
A robbery riddle is: Q: What kind of robbery is not dangerous?A: A safe robbery. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1869. 1 September 1869, Daily Eastern Argus (Portland, ME), pg. 4,…
Coinstipated or Coinstapated (coin + constipated)
"Coinstipated" or "coinstapated" (coin + constipated) has several definitions. "Coinstipated" was cited in print in 2008. "Coinstipated: The result of swallowing…
“When the government’s boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right…”
"When the government's boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right is of no consequence" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. “When the…
“A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.”
A music joke was posted on the newsgroup wny.events on February 2, 1997: Q: Why is a viola like a lawsuit?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed. The joke has been told about other…
“Buy someone for what they’re worth; sell them for what they think they’ll bring”
Entry in progress -- B.P. A Way with WordsBuy Someone for What They’re Worth and Sell Them for What They Think They’ll BringPosted by Grant Barrett on October 14, 2017For a clever way to…
Kid Cheater (spatula)
Entry in progress -- B.P. A Way with WordsKid CheaterPosted by Grant Barrett on October 7, 2017Kid cheater and child cheater are synonyms for spatula, because when you’re baking a cake, a spatula…
Renwick Row or English Terrace Row (West 10th Street, Manhattan)
"English Terrace Row" (or "Renwick Row") in Manhattan is located on West 10th Street, between Fifth Avenue and Sixth Avenue (Avenue of the Americas). The row of houses was…
Doguero (hot dog vendor)
Entry in progress -- B.P. A Way with WordsDogueroPosted by grantbarrett on October 8, 2011New York seems to have a doguero on every street corner. Grant shares this Spanglish term for “a hot dog…
“I met someone else who urinates on fruit. We’re going to go on a date”
"Go on a date" doesn't mean to "go" (urinate) on a "date" (fruit), but there have been several puns. "Let's go on a date! I love urinating on fruit,…
“What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?”/“A flat fish.”
An "apartment" is called a "flat" in the United Kingdom. A riddle is: Q: What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?A: A flat fish. The joke has been cited in print…