“A little birdie told me my golf skills are improving”
"A little birdie told me my golf skills are improving" is a pun on the two meanings of "birdie." The joke was posted on Twitter on May 12, 2011. Wiktionary: birdieNounbirdie…
Archive for /P23580
“I work as a waiter and, no, the pay isn’t great, but I put food on the table”
"I work as a waiter and, no, the pay isn’t great, but I put food on the table" is a popular joke about the job of a waiter. "I work as a waiter. The pay isn't great but I put…
“Big Apple” explained in a movie (Barney’s Version film, 2010)
The origin of "Big Apple" was explained in the 2010 Canadian comedy-drama film Barney's Version, with a screenplay by Michael Konyves. This dialogue does not appear in the novel…
“Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens”
"Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Cooking Is Like Golf' Novelty Chef…
“A Smurf walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Smurf version is: "A Smurf walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why so…
“Big Apple” answer on “Final Jeopardy!” (2009)
The etymology of "Big Apple" was used on the television game show Jeopardy! as a "Final Jeopardy!" question on July 1, 2009. The answer:"A 19th century gambling term…
“Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens”
"Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Cooking Is Like Golf' Novelty Chef…
“If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?”
"If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?" is a jocular winter question. The one-liner was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on December 13,…
“No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up”
A car alarm serves a different purpose than an alarm clock, but there is a one-line saying: "No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up." The joke was posted on Twitter…
“Pinterest is Instagram for moms”
Pinterest is an information-sharing website that quickly became popular with women. Instagram is an internet-based photo-sharing application that draws younger-age users. "Pinterest seems like…
“Girl, are you a popsicle?” (joke)
"Are you a popsicle?" is the start of at least two different jokes. Popsicle sticks often have (mostly bad) jokes. "Are you a popsicle stick? because your jokes aren't…
“A cashier asked me if I wanted paper or plastic. I said, ‘Just put the money in a bag!!’”
A cashier often gives a customer a choice of bags and asks, "Paper or plastic?" A joke situation occurs when a robber asks to put money in a bag. "Robber: put the money in the bag!!…
Night Mayor
A "night mayor" is a person who oversees nightlife concerns within a city. Unlike the position of mayor, a "night mayor" is usually appointed (by the mayor) and not elected. The…
“I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier, I’ve decided I’m never going again”
Does exercise help the mind with decision-making? A joke is: "I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier, I've decided…
“How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?”/“It hugged the shore.”
Do ships "hug" the shore? A popular Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? A: It hugged the shore. The Thanksgiving joke has been cited in print…
Elephant’s Foot (450 W. 33rd Street, or 5 Manhattan West)
The building at 450 West 33rd Street in Manhattan was completed in 1970. It was renovated and painted beige in the 1980s. The massive 16-story structure was nicknamed "elephant's…
“The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF”
"The heat index is somewhere between OMG (Oh My God! -- ed.) and WTF (What The Fuck? -- ed.)" -- that is to say, it's very hot -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’ve got a fruit fetish. Well, that’s according to my currant girlfriend”
"Currant" (a dried berry) sounds like "current." "My currant girlfriend just dumped me. I guess everything happens for a raisin," English comedian Darren Walsh posted…
“Eating breakfast in front of the TV at the same time every day turns the meal into a serial”
Several puns involve the homophones "cereal" and "serial." A joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on November 16, 2017: “Eating breakfast in front of the TV at the…
“Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese? The Hallouminati!”
"Hallouminati" (halloumi + Illuminati) is a jocular food portmanteau word. "I NEED cheese & I can't escape the feeling. Hallouminati want my mind, soul & my body. Cheesy…