“Achieved a new personal best in the 100 yard dash today—43 yards”
Some people who run a dash, according to a joke, can't make it all the way. "I am proud to announce that I beat my personal best in the 100 meter dash. I made it 65 meters" was…
Archive for /P22560
“Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day” (joke)
A popular proverb is: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” A joke variation is: "Give a man a plane ticket and he'll…
Alphabet City (Google/Alphabet Inc. in Chelsea)
"Alphabet City" usually refers to the East Village of Manhattan neighborhood containing Avenues A, B, C and D. In 2017 and 2018, Google/Alphabet Inc. began buying up propertied in the…
Wedding Cake of the West Side (The Ansonia)
The Ansonia is a residential building in Manhattan at 2109 Broadway, between West 73rd and West 74th Streets. It originally opened in 1904 as the Ansonia Hotel. According to Women's Wear Daily…
“Is the sex offender registry where sex offenders sign up for gifts?”
There is a very big difference between a bridal registry and a sex offender registry. "Is the sex offender registry where sex offenders sign up for gifts?" was posted on Twitter on May…
“Wine is win with an ‘e’ on the end”
"Wine is win with an 'e' on the end" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "Wine is win with an e" was posted on Twitter on August 17, 2011. "Do…
“The national dish of America is menus”
English radio and television journalist Robert Robinson (1927-2011) wasn't too impressed with American food. On the BBC-TV show Robinson's Travels (August 1977), he said: "The…
“If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink wine, you’re an amateur and we can’t be friends”
"If you have to ask if it's too early to drink wine, you're an amateur and we can't be friends" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. “If you have to ask…
“I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy”
"I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery would be…
“‘News’ is an acronym—Notable Events, Weather, and Sports”
The word "news" comes from "new." It is not an acronym for "North-East-West-South," or anything else, but a backronym (back acronym) went viral in May and June 2017.…
“Go Dutch?”/“OK. ‘Mag ik dan de rekening alstublieft?’”
"Go Dutch" means to share a restaurant bill. A joke was posted on Twitter on December 18, 2011: "I was on a dinner date having finished dessert, I asked for the bill. She said,…
“Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine”
"Best friends don't care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 4,…
“You people who have just one glass of wine… What’s that like?”
"You people who have just one glass of wine... What's that like?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "People who casually have one glass of wine with…
“Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine”
"Best friends don't care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 4,…
“What is a salmon’s least favorite type of pastry?”/“Bear claws.”
A pastry riddle is: Q: What is a salmon's least favorite type of pastry?A: Bear claws. "Bear Claw" is the name of a popular pastry. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Cleanjokes on…
“What kind of tea do you drink with the queen?”/“Royal-tea.”
"Royalty" sounds like "royal tea." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day and then on the newsgroup Google Groups: alt.humor.puns on September 19, 1999: "The people…
“What do cars do at the disco?”/“Brake dance.”
"Breakdancing" shouldn't be confused with "brake dancing," but there is a riddle: Q: What do cars do at the disco?A: Brake dance. The pun has been cited in print since at…
“Why don’t cannibals eat divorced women?”/“They’re too bitter.”
A cannibal riddle is: Q: Why don't cannibals eat divorced women?A: They're too bitter. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.callahans on December 4, 1999. Google Groups:…
“Did you hear the story of the boy who spoke to legumes? Jack and the Beans Talk”
The fairy tale of "Jack and the Benstalk" is sometimes punned as "Jack and the Beans Talk." A riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.rabbet on April 23, 2003: Q: How…
“Friends are people who stick together until debt do them part”
People marry until "death do them part." A saying about friends was attributed to New York City-born character actor Keenan Wynn (1916-1986), as described in this newspaper column about…