“I don’t exercise. It makes my coffee spill”
I don't exercise. It makes my coffee spill" (or "I don't exercise. It makes me spill my coffee") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
Archive for /P21220
“My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell smoothies”
A business that goes into "liquidation" usually doesn't literally become liquid, but there are jokes. "My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell…
“I’m not broke. I’m pre-rich”
"I'm not broke/poor. I'm pre-rich" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "pre-rich" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on September 19, 2015.…
Summer Slide (summer learning regression)
"Summer slide" is what school children forget as they leave school and June and return to school in September. Summer reading programs are often arranged to protect against a "summer…
“I’m not poor. I’m pre-rich”
"I'm not broke/poor. I'm pre-rich" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "pre-rich" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on September 19, 2015.…
“I don’t exercise. It makes my coffee spill”
I don't exercise. It makes my coffee spill" (or "I don't exercise. It makes me spill my coffee") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell smoothies”
A business that goes into "liquidation" usually doesn't literally become liquid, but there are jokes. "My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell…
“I’m majoring in pre-rich”
"I'm not broke/poor. I'm pre-rich" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "pre-rich" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on September 19, 2015.…
“How to fall down stairs” (a step-by-step guide)
"spoken-not-written: how to fall down the stairs: a step by step guide by me. http://tmblr.co/Z26_txpZCtlO" was posted on Twitter on July 13, 2013. When people fall down the stairs, they…
“The IKEA job interviewer said, ‘Welcome! Come in and make a seat’”
"IKEA Job Interview" is the title of a much-reprinted cartoon, cited in print since at least 2006. "Please have a seat." the interviewer says. The interviewee sees the seat…
“The only thing that will survive the apocalypse is student loans”
Student loans cannot be discharged in a personal bankruptcy. But what about an apocalypse? "@CreditLoan you're insane if you think student loan lenders won't survive a Zombie…
“The only thing that will survive the apocalypse is student loans”
Student loans cannot be discharged in a personal bankruptcy. But what about an apocalypse? "@CreditLoan you're insane if you think student loan lenders won't survive a Zombie…
“Exercising would be much more bearable with a progress bar”
Some people wonder why exercise doesn't have a "progress bar" that says things like "33% done" and "66% done." "My family always asks if my diet…
“Three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, forbid kids from doing it”
"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it for you, or forbid your children from doing it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“What do you get when you cross a police dog with a skunk?”/“Law & odor.”
A "law and order" pun is: Q: What do you get when you cross a police dog with a skunk?A: Law & odor. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. 12 January 1996, The News…
“If you aren’t making waves, you aren’t kicking hard enough”
"If you aren't making waves, you aren't kicking hard enough" ("If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough") is a motivational saying…
“What’s the hardest thing to sell to a ghost?”/“Life insurance.”
A ghost riddle is: Q: What's the hardest thing to sell to a ghost? A: Life insurance. The life insurance joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Books102 Haunted House JokesBy…
“What do you call corn stuck in a spider-web?”/“Corn on the cob.”
"Corn on the cob" doesn't come from cobwebs, but there are jokes. "What is a spiders favourite food? corn on the cob..web!" was posted on Twitter by Megan on October 31,…
“I’m going to the strip club. The chicken strip club. I mean Chick-Fil-A”
Chicken strips are deep fried pieces of chicken meat. "Chicken strips" doesn't mean that chicken takes off its clothes (strips), but there are jokes. A "chicken strip club"…
“Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course?”/“Because he wanted them par-boiled.”
"Parboiling" has nothing to do with a golf "par," but there are jokes. "Par-boiled: mistakenly put a golf ball in the saucepan instead of an egg" was posted on the…