“Got a job as a human statue. It’s a permanent position”
Many job seekers want a "permanent position." A "permanent position" doesn't mean to become a statue, but there are jokes. "Finally managed to get myself a job as a…
Archive for /P20080
“Where has Oregon?” (pun)
"Where has Oregon?" is a pun on the state's name. "Where has Ore-gon?" was printed in The Idaho Avalanche (Silver City, ID) on July 5, 1879. "Where has Oregon?"…
Missouri: “How did Flori die?”/“She died in Missouri.”
A pun and riddle about two states (Florida and Missouri) is: Q: How did Flori die? (Florida)A: She died in Missouri. (misery) "How did Flori-die (Florida)? She died in Misery (Missouri)"…
“How did Flori die?”/“She died in Missouri.”
A pun and riddle about two states (Florida and Missouri) is: Q: How did Flori die? (Florida)A: She died in Missouri. (misery) "How did Flori-die (Florida)? She died in Misery (Missouri)"…
“Sparkling water is angry water and I do not need that kind of negativity in my life”
"Sparkling water is just angry water" is a saying for those who think that the carbonation in water makes it angry. "Sparkling water is disappointing because you smell it and…
“Sprite is just angry water”
"Sprite is just angry water" is a saying for those who think the fizz in the drink expresses anger. "Sprite is nothing but angry water lol" was posted on Twitter by I.AM.SUN on…
“Vodka is just angry water”
"Vodka is just angry water" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "@FunnyJokeBook more like: vodka is angry water!" was posted on Twitter by Nicola on October 27,…
“Club soda is just angry water”
"Club soda is just angry water" is a saying for those who think that carbonation makes water angry. "Club soda tastes like angry water" was posted on Twitter by Kyrai on August…
“Sparkling water is just angry water”
"Sparkling water is just angry water" is a saying for those who think that the carbonation in water makes it angry. "Sparkling water is disappointing because you smell it and…
“Seltzer is just angry water”
"Seltzer is just angry water" is a saying for those who think that carbonation makes water angry. "In my opinion seltzer is just angry water" was posted on Twitter by K8 on June…
“Truth is authority. Authority is not truth”
Women's rights activist and social reformer Lucretia Mott (1793-1880) wrote in an undated letter that was printed in 1853: "I received every encouragement from those in authority, until…
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”/“Can’t a fucking chicken cross a road…?”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A riddle of this joke is: Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To…
“It’s not your job to love me—it’s mine”
"It's not your job to like me -- it's mine" is a inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been attributed to American speaker and author Byron…
“The Masters doesn’t really begin until the second nine on Sunday” (golf adage)
The Masters golf tournament at Augusta (GA) National Golf Club is played the first week in April, but many believe that it really doesn't get exciting until Sunday. "The oft-repeated line…
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”/“To have its motives questioned.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A riddle of this joke is: Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To…
“It’s not your job to like me—it’s mine”
"It's not your job to like me -- it's mine" is a inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been attributed to American speaker and author Byron…
“A world without weird people is like vanilla ice cream without the sprinkles”
The flavor "vanilla" has come to mean "bland," and sprinkles add some excitement to vanilla ice cream. The YouTube "Off The Pill - Weird People" by Ryan Higa on…
“Don’t wait. Vaccinate”
"Don't wait. Vaccinate" (or "Don't wait to vaccinate" is a vaccination slogan that has been used by many health departments in the United States. "Don't wait…
“A chiropractor is a hip-pop artist”
"Hip-pop" is a music portmanteau of "hip-hop" and "pop." "If I were a chiropractor, I’d listen to HIP-POP! GET IT?" was posted on Twitter by Matthew Inman…
“Are you coffee because I’ve bean thinking about you a latte”
"I've bean thinking about you a latte" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I've bean thinking about you a latte" was posted on Twitter by…