“If 2020 was a bath bomb, it would be a fucking toaster”
The COVID-19 pandemic made 2020 a bad year for many people. "If 2020 was a bath bomb it would be a fucking toaster" was posted on Twitter by Callum Lyon on October 28, 2020. A toaster, of…
Archive for /P15680
CovidCon
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: COVID-19 pandemicThe COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe…
“Can you tell me when the next train is coming?”/“Look online.” (joke)
"Online" (on the internet) is different than "on line" (as in a train track). "So i said to this bloke how can i find out when's the next train. He said look online i…
“Snow isn’t dangerous, but ISIS”
The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) gained prominence in early 2014. "ISIS" sounds like "ice is." "Is snow a potential terror threat? No, but Isis" was posted…
“There’s no way like the American way. World’s highest standard of living”
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: American wayThe American way of life or the American way refers to the American nationalist ethos that adheres to the principle of life, liberty and the pursuit…
“Can you tell me when the next train is coming?”/“Look online.” (“on line” pun)
"Online" (on the internet) is different than "on line" (as in a train track). "So i said to this bloke how can i find out when's the next train. He said look online i…
“Your obedience is prolonging this nightmare”
The COVID-19 pandemic resulted in lockdowns, face mask requirements, and more. Many people believed that the lockdowns were unlawful, and that obedience to these orders (rather than, for example,…
“Why do big-game hunters mount lions’ heads?”/“To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.”
The word "catastrophe" sounds like "cat ass trophy," and there are jokes. "This sounds like a guaranteed cat-ass-trophy!" was posted on the newsgroup rec.motorcycles…
“A busy night at Stonehenge as workers move all the stones forward one hour”
"A busy night at Stonehenge as workers move all the stones back/forward one hour" is a jocular daylight saving time saying that has been printed on several images. Stonehenge is a…
“How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“A fish.”
A version of the popular lightbulb joke involving surrealism is: Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?A: A fish. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1986.…
“My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table. I had to get a running start but I made it!”
People sometimes are asked to "clear the table," but this doesn't mean to jump clear over it. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 1, 2020: "My wife asked me if I…
“What do you call a dinosaur made of glass?”/“A Py-rex.”
Pyrex is a brand of glassware and kitchenware. The "Pyrex" name has also been used for for non-glass kitchen utensils and cookware. "Pyrex" has nothing to do with the…
“What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?”/“Py-rex.”
Pyrex is a brand of glassware and kitchenware. The "Pyrex" name has also been used for for non-glass kitchen utensils and cookware. "Pyrex" has nothing to do with the…
“I taught a wolf to meditate. Now he’s aware wolf”
"A werewolf" sounds like "aware wolf." "I told a wolf to go meditate. Now he’s aware wolf" was posted on Twitter by Dodger × BLACK LIVES MATTER on April 12, 2018.…
“I stayed up to watch daylight savings time. It was still dark”
"I stayed up to watch daylight savings time. It was still dark" is a joke that has been printed on many images. This experience is not like watching a sunrise or a sunset. Some people…
“A busy night at Stonehenge as workers move all the stones back one hour”
"A busy night at Stonehenge as workers move all the stones back/forward one hour" is a jocular daylight saving time saying that has been printed on several images. Stonehenge is a…
“Dog catchers get paid by the pound”
How do dog catchers get paid? A poem was printed in the Indianapolis (IN) News on September 15, 1064: The dog catcher, the butcher, And the carpenter, I've found,All have one thing in…
“How do dog catchers get paid?”/“By the pound.”
How do dog catchers get paid? A poem was printed in the Indianapolis (IN) News on September 15, 1064: The dog catcher, the butcher, And the carpenter, I've found,All have one thing in…
“I have a hard time finishing what I sta—”
Some people have a hard time finishing what they start. "Sometimes I have a hard time finishing what I sta" was posted on Twitter by OnWave on July 25, 2010. "I HAVE A HARD TIME…
“It’s not that the majority is silent. It’s that the media is silent about the majority”
"It's not that the majority are/is silent. It's that the media are/is silent about the majority" is a political saying that has been printed on several images. The saying means…