“I ordered two large fries, not a hundred little ones!”
"Large fries" and "small fries" are the same size of french fries -- the "large" order just contains more of them. "mcdonalds employee: please sir, get off the…
Archive for /P11580
“Resist or cease to exist”
"Resist or cease to exist," "Resist every day or cease to exist" and "Start to resist or cease to exist" are slogans that have been printed on many images.…
“Onions force you to mourn their death”
Cutting an onion can make a person have tears. "onions force you to mourn their death" was posted on Twitter by Pennylane & Yumi on June 2, 2010. "Onions make you mourn their…
“Where do wasps go for lunch?”/“A bee-stro.”
A "bistro" doesn't necessarily have "bees" (or wasps), but there are jokes. "Where do wasps go for lunch? A bee-stro!" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June…
“Resist every day or cease to exist”
"Resist or cease to exist," "Resist every day or cease to exist" and "Start to resist or cease to exist" are slogans that have been printed on many images.…
“Start to resist or cease to exist”
"Resist or cease to exist," "Resist every day or cease to exist" and "Start to resist or cease to exist" are slogans that have been printed on many images.…
“The cost of joining the Roman Numeral Society was exactly $499. I didn’t have ID”
In Roman numerals, D=500 and I=1. "ID" is 500-1 or 499. "This girl wrote the roman numeral for 499 as ID on her math test lmaoooo" was posted on Twitter by David Hill on October…
Vax Bouncer or Vaccine Bouncer or Vaxx Bouncer
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some mandates, such as vaccination requirements to enter restaurants and indoor entertainments. Some of these establishments hired a "vaccine…
“On what charge was the guy arrested for rearranging his dinner table?”/“Dish-orderly conduct.”
"On what charge was the guy arrested for rearranging his dinner table? Dish-orderly conduct" was posted on Reddit -- Cleanjokes on March 31, 2020. The joke was re-posted on Reddit --…
“A cactus is just a goth cucumber”
Cacti and pickles have both been called "goth cucumbers." "Cactus is just a giant goth cucumber" was posted on Twitter by B0regasmic on May 17, 2015. "A cactus is just a…
Vaxx Bouncer or Vaccine Bouncer or Vax Bouncer
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some mandates, such as vaccination requirements to enter restaurants and indoor entertainments. Some of these establishments hired a "vaccine…
“Me: How much for the goth cucumber? Clerk: That’s a cactus”
Cacti and pickles have both been called "goth cucumbers." "Cactus is just a giant goth cucumber" was posted on Twitter by B0regasmic on May 17, 2015. "A cactus is just a…
“Pickles are just goth cucumbers”
Cacti and pickles have both been called "goth cucumbers." "Cactus is just a giant goth cucumber" was posted on Twitter by B0regasmic on May 17, 2015. "A cactus is just a…
“When is the employee Christmas party for self-check at Walmart?”
Many people who do self-checkout at a store such as Walmart feel like they are working there -- and deserve an employee Christmas party. "When is the Employee Christmas Party for Self-Check at…
Vaccine Bouncer or Vax Bouncer or Vaxx Bouncer
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some mandates, such as vaccination requirements to enter restaurants and indoor entertainments. Some of these establishments hired a "vaccine…
“Who would name their company FedEx? That’s two things that I never want showing up at my door”
"FedEx" originally stood for "Federal Express," but a joke has it stand for something else. "Why the name @FedEx? That's two things I would not want showing up at my…
“Cacti are just goth cucumbers”
Cacti and pickles have both been called "goth cucumbers." "Cactus is just a giant goth cucumber" was posted on Twitter by B0regasmic on May 17, 2015. "A cactus is just a…
“I want to start selling an alcoholic fermented rice wine spiked with viagra—For Fucks Saké”
Saké is Japanese rice wine. It looks like the word "sake," and is sometimes used jocularly in the expression "for fuck's sake." "for fuck's sake (like for…
“When life gives you Lenins, make Leningrad”
“If/When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is a popular saying. "Lemons" is replaced with "Lenin(s)" in jocular political variations of the adage. "When life gives…
“Sex in return for rice wine? For fucks, sake”
Saké is Japanese rice wine. It looks like the word "sake," and is sometimes used jocularly in the expression "for fuck's sake." "for fuck's sake (like for…