“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also, I don’t drink coffee”
"Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" is what one worker might say to another in the morning. An anti-social worker might add, "I don't drink coffee." That…
Archive for 08/2024
“Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them”
Grammar and social media don't seem to go together well. "Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them" was posted on X/Twitter by Boyd's Backyard™ on…
“Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them”
Grammar and social media don't seem to go together well. "Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them" was posted on X/Twitter by Boyd's Backyard™ on…
“It’s called pickleball because it’s just a tennis ball that’s soaked in brine”
The game of "pickleball" isn't played with pickles, but there are jokes. "The name of the game is certainly odd — there are no cucumbers soaked in brine and vinegar involved…
“I’m just saying if they’re gonna call it pickleball they should have to play it in a vat of brine”
The game of "pickleball" isn't played with pickles, but there are jokes. "The name of the game is certainly odd — there are no cucumbers soaked in brine and vinegar involved…
“Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me”
"who needs guys when you have curly fries" was posted on X/Twitter by ebony on November 3, 2012. The song "Curly Fries" (2022) by heb contains the lyrics: "Who needs guys…
“Taking a medication and thinking you’re healthy is like getting a loan and thinking you’re rich”
"Taking a medication and thinking you’re healthy is like getting a loan and thinking you’re rich" is a health saying that has been printed on many images. "Taking a medication…
“There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee”
"There's always peace in a strong cup of coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "there's always peace in a strong cup of coffee...…
“Sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness”
"Sometimes I think I’m reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“I try to be a good person, but then someone pulls out in front of me doing ten below the speed limit…”
A statement about the frustrations of highway driving was posted on X/Twitter by New_England_Dad on September 3, 2021: "I try to be a good person, but then someone pulls out in front of me…
“I need to find hobbies that don’t include my bank card”
"I need to find hobbies that don't include my bank/credit/debit card" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit…
“I need to find hobbies that don’t include my credit card”
"I need to find hobbies that don't include my bank/credit/debit card" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit…
“I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card”
"I need to find hobbies that don't include my bank/credit/debit card" is a saying that has been printed on many images "I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit…
“Anyone on their way to work with a hot drink automatically look like they have their whole life sorted out”
Many people confidently come to work with a hot drink (usually coffee). This was posted on X/Twitter by Liyyah on November 18, 2021, and received almost 10,000 likes: "Anyone on their way to…
“Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us”
"Thank you for contacting [X]. Your call is very important to us" is a company's standard automated telephone message. A joke was posted on X/Twitter by Blue Berrymore (the account…
“You cannot tax people into poverty to change the weather”
"Taxing people into poverty is not going to change the weather" is a saying that has been printed on an image. The saying means that additional taxes to prevent "climate change"…
“Taxing people into poverty is not going to change the weather”
"Taxing people into poverty is not going to change the weather" is a saying that has been printed on an image. The saying means that additional taxes to prevent "climate change"…
“Taxing people into poverty won’t change the weather”
"Taxing people into poverty is not going to change the weather" is a saying that has been printed on an image. The saying means that additional taxes to prevent "climate change"…
“I need to find a hobby that doesn’t include eating or buying things”
"I need to find a hobby that doesn't include eating or buying things" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I need to find a hobby…
“The first million people to send me $1.00 will get a copy of my guide on how to become a millionaire using Twitter”
"The first million people to send me $1.00 will get a copy of my guide on how to become a millionaire using Facebook" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The…