"Don't talk to me until I've had my…

“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee” is what one worker might say to another in the morning. An anti-social worker might add, “I don’t drink coffee.” That is, never talk to that worker.

“me:Don’t talk to me until i’ve had my coffee. you:‘but baird you don’t drink coffee’ me:muwahahahahahaha (fuck am i tired)” was posted on X/Twitter by bairdduvessa on February 6, 2010. “Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. (I don’t drink coffee)” was posted on X/Twitter by Collin Ritter on December 31, 2010. “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. (I don’t drink coffee.)” was posted on X/Twitter by TylerEvans.xyz on January 18, 2011. “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also, I don’t drink coffee” was posted on X/Twitter by Jenny Johnson on October 9, 2012.

X/Twitter
bairdduvessa
@bairdduvessa
me:Don’t talk to me until i’ve had my coffee. you:‘but baird you don’t drink coffee’ me:muwahahahahahaha (fuck am i tired)
1:20 PM · Feb 6, 2010

X/Twitter
Collin Ritter
@collinALLcaptns
Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. (I don’t drink coffee)
2:41 PM · Dec 31, 2010

X/Twitter
TylerEvans.xyz
@Vfdtyler
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. (I don’t drink coffee.)
5:29 AM · Jan 18, 2011

X/Twitter
Curmudgeon at Law™🍸 (I need a bigger glass)
@obxlaw
my staff knows that they are not to talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
Fortunately, I don’t drink coffee.
9:19 AM · Dec 23, 2011

X/Twitter
Joseph Scrimshaw
@JosephScrimshaw
If I worked at an office job I would say, “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my first cup of coffee!” And then I would never drink coffee.
12:12 PM · Jan 6, 2012

X/Twitter
James Chang
@jamesxchang
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. (I don’t drink coffee.)
5:07 PM · Mar 30, 2012

X/Twitter
Chrystal Wynd
@ChrystalWynd
@TheMichaelRock Me: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
Coworker: You don’t drink coffee.
Me: Exactly.
1:03 PM · Jun 4, 2012

X/Twitter
Rowan ElHossary
@RowanElHossary
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee… PS, I don’t drink coffee.
11:12 AM · Jun 21, 2012

X/Twitter
Patrick James Lynch
@pjlynch
Everyday I tell people “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” but I don’t drink coffee. Haven’t had a conversation since 2006.
8:47 AM · Aug 3, 2012

X/Twitter
Kevin
@Ginjerk
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee!
(I don’t drink coffee)
8:32 AM · Aug 13, 2012

X/Twitter
Jenny Johnson
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also, I don’t drink coffee.
10:26 AM · Oct 9, 2012

X/Twitter
Bhu
@Bhumil_P
Don’t talk to me until i’ve had my coffee. i don’t drink coffee.
12:11 PM · Dec 30, 2012

X/Twitter
Heretic 🇮🇳
@iDarkastic
Me: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
Coworker: But you don’t drink coffee?
Me: Exactly, my point.
2:51 PM · Jan 7, 2013

X/Twitter
Sam Likely
@skelly
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. I don’t drink coffee.
4:45 PM · Dec 27, 2013

X/Twitter
I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️
@iAmDelFreaky
Every morning, I tell my co-workers not to talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
I don’t drink coffee.
1:52 PM · Jul 14, 2014

X/Twitter
Jenny Johnson
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee, also I don’t drink coffee.
12:27 AM · Jul 27, 2015

X/Twitter
Yousef Salem
@YousefSal_m
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
I don’t drink coffee.
8:47 AM · Dec 20, 2015

X/Twitter
Chad Auber
@Chauber7
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.. I don’t drink coffee.
7:32 AM · Sep 12, 2016

X/Twitter
Ryan Kru
@_TheKru21
“Good morning!”
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
“But you don’t drink coffee?”
Exactly.
12:02 PM · May 22, 2017

X/Twitter
Molly Morrissey
@molly_rooney
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee.
I don’t drink coffee. 🙅🏻
9:05 AM · Jun 12, 2017

X/Twitter
Tom Rainey
@TomRaineyy
Important things to know about me:
1. Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee
2. I don’t drink coffee
4:06 PM · Oct 9, 2018

X/Twitter
pete lee
@peteleetweets
Introverts be like,
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also, I don’t drink coffee.”
10:18 AM · Feb 8, 2019

X/Twitter
Darienne Lake
@dariennelake
I remember when you said, “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.”
And I said, “but you don’t drink coffee.”
And then you said, “Exactly.”
11:47 AM · Oct 26, 2019

X/Twitter
LivvIsLame
@CaptainLivv
“Please do not talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”
“But you don’t drink coffee”
“I know”
11:54 AM · Nov 3, 2019

X/Twitter
Hoffie
@hoffiecomedy
Me: “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”
Coworker: “...but you don’t drink coffee?”
Me: “Exactly”
10:54 AM · Feb 26, 2020

X/Twitter
Billy Grimm
@Mr_BillyTheKid
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee
(I don’t drink coffee)
10:56 AM · Jul 7, 2021

X/Twitter
Zac Mabry
@ZacMabry
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee (I do NOT drink coffee)
3:45 PM · Jun 26, 2022

X/Twitter
Russell
@that_russell
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”
“You don’t drink coffee”
“…”
9:35 AM · Aug 12, 2022

X/Twitter
Moshe
@kahntra
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. And I don’t drink coffee…
12:22 PM · Nov 29, 2022

X/Twitter
Princess Lay Ya
@hopeygilmore
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also I do not drink coffee.
1:55 PM · Aug 7, 2024