“I General Lee don’t find civil war puns to be funny”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
Archive for 08/2020
“I’m aspirin’ to be a pharmacist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I have seen things. Terrible things. Empty coffee cup things”
"I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a joke on horror movie dialogue. "I have seen…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a doctor”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“What did one painkiller say to the other?”/“You’re what I’m aspirin to be.”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“August already? September is practically next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume”
Time flies. "August already?? September is practically next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody" is a jocular saying that…
Casedemic (case + -demic)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in a new work -- "case-demic" or "casedemic." This is where there are positive tests for COVID-19 (often a false positive), but a…
“I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things”
"I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a joke on horror movie dialogue. "I have seen…
“I have seen things. Horrible things. Empty coffee cup things”
"I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a joke on horror movie dialogue. "I have seen…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a nurse”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“How December 2020 is going to look like: ‘Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear’”
"Merry crisis and a happy new fear" -- a pun on "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" -- has been printed on many images. The saying is from graffiti that was painted on the…
“Two things to make your day better: 1. Do not watch the news. 2. Stay off the bathroom scales”
Some helpful advice was posted on Facebook by Lisa Harris Tucker on June 26, 2020: "Two things to makeyour day better1. Do not watch the news.2. Stay off the bathroom scales."…
“Why do eggs come in flimsy styrofoam cartons & batteries in a package only a chainsaw opens?”
"Why do eggs come in flimsy styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?" is a question that has been printed on many images. One possible answer is that…
“Celery is just glorified grass”
Celery has often been described as a combination of grass and water. "Celery is just crunchy water” is a celery saying. "'See, the thing with celery is...it's grass-flavored,…
“If you haven’t seen me in a while, I’m fat now. You don’t have to tell me. Thanks in advance”
Many people gain weight as they grow older -- and they do not have to be told this. "If you haven’t seen me in a while, I’m fat now. You don’t have to tell me. Thanks in advance" is…
“Merry crisis and a happy new fear”
"Merry crisis and a happy new fear" -- a pun on "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" -- has been printed on many images. The saying is from graffiti that was painted on the…
“Chin up, shoulders back. Wipe those tears and get back on track…”
"Chin up, shoulders back. Wipe those tears and get back on track. Smile, wave and wink with class, then tell them all to kiss your ass" is a jocular inspirational saying that has been…
“Have we tried throwing a politician into a volcano to appease the virus yet?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic had many people frustrated with politicians. "You shouldn’t be able to fuck up this bad as a politician without being thrown into a volcano" was…
“Celery is what happens when you tell grass it can be anything it wants to be”
Celery has often been described as a combination of grass and water. "Celery is just crunchy water” is a celery saying. "'See, the thing with celery is...it's grass-flavored,…