“I don’t get why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That’s why I’m there”
"I don't get/understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That's why I'm here/there" is a gym saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @rene: I…
Archive for 08/2020
“Lovely weather for ducks” (rain)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe Old Curiosity Shop: And Other TalesBy Charles DickensPhiladelphia, PA: Lea and Blanchard1841Pg. 62:Mr Swiveller complied, and looking about him with a…
“Being a prison guard has to be the easiest job ever. I mean, who’s going to steal a prison?”
A prison guard doesn't guard a prison, but there are jokes. "I'd love to be a prison guard. Who's gonna steal a prison?" was posted on Twitter by Tom Webb on September 16,…
“I went to a BLM rally this weekend and all I got was this lousy t shirt…”
"My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a popular meme from the 1970s. June and July 2020 had protests and civil unrest (riots) following the death of George…
“It’s easy to be a communist in a free country. But try being free in a communist country”
"It’s easy being a communist in a free country. Try being free in a communist country" (or "It's easy to be a communist in a free country, but try being free in a communist…
“I went to a protest last weekend and all I got was this lousy t shirt…and a TV…”
"My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a popular meme from the 1970s. June and July 2020 had protests and civil unrest (riots) following the death of George…
“Now is probably the perfect time to become a ventriloquist”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“Could you toast some bread?”/(raises wine glass) “Here’s to bread!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterPinot Evil@TheWinegasmHim: Toast me some bread please?Me *raising wine glassHere's to bread!4:49 AM · Feb 17, 2017·Twitter for iPhone Reddit --…
“What’s a survivalist’s favorite drink?”/“Dr Prepper.”
Dr Prepper (Dr Pepper + prepper) is a fictional soft drink name that has been printed on many images. "I'm a Prepper - Dr Prepper: I'm a Prepper - Dr Prepper. A funny soft drink…
“What is the kind of all office supplies?”/“The ruler.”
An office supplies riddle is: Q: Who/What is the king of office supplies?A: The ruler. "What's the king of all office supplies? The ruler!" was posted on Twitter by "}" on…
“Who is the king of office supplies?”/“The ruler.”
An office supplies riddle is: Q: Who/What is the king of office supplies?A: The ruler. "What's the king of all office supplies? The ruler!" was posted on Twitter by "}" on…
“I General Lee don’t care for Civil War jokes”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
OMAD (One Meal A Day)
Entry in progress -- B.P. OCLC WorldCat recordOne meal a day intermittent fasting : the powerful secret of the OMAD diet for extreme weight lossAuthor: Logan WolfPublisher: [United States?] :…
“What do you call a cow in a tornado?”/“A milk shake.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?A: A milk shake. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. “What do you call a cow during an earthquake?"/"A milk…
“Civil War jokes? I General Lee don’t find them funny”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
“Are you a banana? Because I found you a peeling!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- CleanjokesPosted by u/lucifernob August 3, 2020Are you banana?because I found you a peeling!COMMENTSFlameSharkerMaybe we could orange something for the weekend?
“My boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I said he doesn’t hire stupid people”
"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him, I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Boss…
“I General Lee don’t find civil war jokes funny”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
“I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains”
Many churches have stained windows. "I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains" was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer,…
“A square and a circle walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A circle version is: "A square and a circle walk into a bar. The square says to the…