“Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends”
"Pun of the Day: Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends" -- a pun on "depends" -- was posted on Twitter by Rosa Lei Steinard on December 1, 2009. "Swimming can be easy…
Archive for 08/2020
“It’s never a good thing to be greeted with ‘Thank goodness you’re here’”
If you arrive at work and are greeted with "Thank goodness you're here," it's usually a sign that things are a mess and you will be expected to correct it. "Yesterday I…
“What did the right knee say to the left knee?”/“Hi, felony!”
"Felony" sounds a bit like "fellow knee" or "fella knee." "What did the right knee say to the left knee? Hi...felony!" was posted on Twitter by Justin on…
“My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers. To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers”
"My wife is always complaining that I never buy her flowers. In my defense, I didn't even know she sold flowers" was posted on Twitter by Andrew Mexo O'Connor (and others) on…
“Coronavirus is a poor person’s virus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has been called a "poor person's virus." A rich person can isolate, while a poor person might have to work in dangerous conditions. A rich person…
“Jobs should higher you weather you have a fella knee or a mister meaner”
"Felony" sounds a bit like "fellow knee" or "fella knee." "What did the right knee say to the left knee? Hi...felony!" was posted on Twitter by Justin on…
“Coronavirus is a poor man’s virus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has been called a "poor person's virus" and, occasionally, a "poor man's virus." A rich person can isolate, while a poor person…
“What do cloves use for money?”/“Garlic bread.”
"Bread" is slang for "money." A riddle is: Q: What do cloves use for money?A: Garlic bread. The riddle was posted on Twitter by Ujwal on February 17, 2013.…
“Why did the chef quit?”/“They cut his celery.”
"Celery" sounds a little bit like "salary." A riddle is: Q: Why did the chef quit?A: They cut his celery. The joke was posted on Twitter by WISCO VIEWERS on June 23, 2013.…
“My left knee has never committed a crime. I can’t say the same for his felony”
"Felony" sounds a bit like "fellow knee" or "fella knee." "What did the right knee say to the left knee? Hi...felony!" was posted on Twitter by Justin on…
“Putting on a mask to walk ten feet through a restaurant…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. People were required to wear a face mask to enter a restaurant, only to take off the mask to eat. An explanation…
“If beer is liquid courage, then coffee must be liquid motivation”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid productivity”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“I thought I dipped my tortilla chip into cheese sauce, but it was a queso mistaken identity”
"Queso" (Spanish for "cheese") can sound like "case of." "It was a queso mistaken identity" was posted on the newsgroup rec.outdoors.fishing.fly on December…
“What do you call a blind racist?”/“A not-see.”
"Nazi" sounds like "not see." A riddle is: Q: What do you call a blind racist?A: A not-see. "Joke of the night: What do you call a racist, blind white guy? A 'Not…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid optimism”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee must be liquid motivation”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“Knock, knock.” / “Who’s there?” / “Queso.” / “Queso who?” / “Queso mistaken identity.”
"Queso" (Spanish for "cheese") can sound like "case of." "It was a queso mistaken identity" was posted on the newsgroup rec.outdoors.fishing.fly on December…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid enthusiasm”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If booze is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid initiative”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…