“Hangovers are temporary. Drunk stories are forever”
"Hangovers are temporary. Drunk stories are forever" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @jmpress: hangovers are temporary; awesome times with your friends…
Archive for 12/2019
“Sign in a local hospital: ‘From all of us here at the Dermotology Department - Merry Eczemas’”
"Xmas" (Christmas) shouldn't be confused with "eczemas" (a skin disease), but there are jokes. Merry Eczema (1992) by David Shrigley was a book title. "To all dry skin…
“Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!” (joke)
Many online services alert: "Someone has signed into your account!" Often, it's just the user signing on from a different device, but a "panic" joke was posted on Twitter…
“Honestly, I don’t mind leg day at the gym. It’s just the two days after that I can’t stand”
"I can't stand" (meaning a dislike of something) usually is not taken literally, but there are jokes. This gym joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 3, 2019: "Honestly, I…
“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family”
“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. "The best of…
“Technically, origami is a kind of woodworking”
Origami is the art of paper folding. A one-line saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on December 10, 2019: "Technically, origami is a kind of woodworking." "Origami is the…
“Sugar is the cocaine of the food world”
"Religion is the opiate of the masses" is a famous statement of German philosopher and economist Karl Marx (1818-1883). "Sugar is the cocaine of the food industry/world" and…
“Sugar is the cocaine of the food industry”
"Religion is the opiate of the masses" is a famous statement of German philosopher and economist Karl Marx (1818-1883). "Sugar is the cocaine of the food industry/world" and…
“Origami is the new woodworking”
Origami is the art of paper folding. A one-line saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on December 10, 2019: "Technically, origami is a kind of woodworking." "Origami is the…
“Snowflakes are winter’s butterflies”
"A snowflake is winter's butterfly" (or the plural, "Snowflakes are winter's butterflies") is a seasonal saying that has been printed on many images. Snowflakes and…
“Paid my bills for the month. Anyone have any good recipes for water?”
Many people pay their monthly bills and have little money left over, even for food. "I am so broke, I could really need some good recipes for water..." was posted on Twitter by n y r r r…
“What yoga really is: spending an entire hour trying not to fart”
"Yoga is spending an hour trying not to fart" is a jocular yoga saying that has been printed on many images. The joke has been told by several comedians. "Yoga is a Sanskrit word…
“Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home”
"Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home" (eating at home -- and saving money -- rather than eating at a restaurant) is a jocular line that…
“Once I got a job, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home”
"Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home" (eating at home -- and saving money -- rather than eating at a restaurant) is a jocular line that…
“Knock, knock.” / “Who’s there?” / “Diploma.”
"Diploma" can sound like "da plumba" or "the plumber." A knock-knock joke is: "Knock, knock.""Who's there?"Diploma."'Diploma…
“How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?” (joke)
One shopping aspect about "Black Friday" is people constantly talking about the deals that they found. A riddle is: Q: How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday…
“I remember when I was poor. I’m still poor that’s why I remember so well”
Many people who are successful often tell about their poor beginnings. "I remember when I was poor. I’m still poor that’s why I remember so well" is a joke that was posted on Twitter…
“I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes”
"I'm glad I learned about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in so handy during parallelogram season" is a joke that has been printed on many…
“What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?”/“Nice legs.”
A "complementary angle" is not necessarily "complimentary," but there are jokes. A math riddle is: Q: What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?A: Nice…
“I never realized how short a month is until I started paying bills”
"I never realized how short a month is until I started paying bills" -- that is, there's not enough money to pay monthly expenses -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…