A riddle about sardines is: Q: Why are sardines so stupid?A: They lock themselves in a can and leave the key outside. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1959. 1 February 1959, South…
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A PowerPoint version is: Q: Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross…
Air conditioning does "run" like a runner runs, but a joke is: Q: Why did the AC compressor sweat?A: Because it had to run all day. The joke was posted on Twitter by HVACEDONLINE on May…
A Shakespeare riddle is: Q: Who's the greatest chicken-killer in all of Shakespeare?A: Macbeth. He did murder most foul. "the pun is on "foul" for "fowl." "Murder…
A "fast food" riddle is: Q: What do race horses eat?A: Fast food. "Whast kinds of food does race horses eat? FAST FOOD! :) #cheesyjoke" was posted on Twitter by Arlynne Kayla on…
A riddle about rooms is: Q: Why is a room full of married people like an empty room?A: Because there's not a single person in it. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1823. Google…
"Coffee first, your bullshit second" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Ok, Coffee first, your bullshit second...gimme sometime to wake up, please, thank…
A UK riddle about football (soccer) is: Q: Why can't cars play football?A: Because they only have one boot. A car's "boot" is its "trunk" (US). A person's boot is…
"Don’t be shy. Send that 12th unanswered text. -- Tequila" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don’t be shy, send that 7th unanswered text" was posted…
"The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away" is from Job 1:21 in the Bible. "Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant called 'The Lord Giveth'. They also do…
An employment joke about a late employee is: Boss: You should have been here at 8:30!Employee: Why? What happened at 8:30? The joke was printed in many newspapers in 1935. 20 March 1935, San Diego…
An employment joke was printed in the Wilmington (DE) Morning News on December 26, 1933: "If the boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I shall leave.""What did he…
"Time flies" means that time passes quickly. Time doesn't literally "fly," but there are jokes. "Time flies when you throw your watch" was posted on the newsgroup…
"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…
"If it's in stock, we have it" is a jocular store saying that has been printed on many images. "If it's in stock we have it, and if we ain't got it, you don't…
Many diners has special, invented names for sandwiches. "If I owned a diner I'd have a sandwich called 'The Usual' so everyone would feel special. #fb" was posted on…
"Time flies" means that time passes quickly. Time doesn't literally "fly," but there are jokes. "Time flies when you throw away calendars" was posted on Twitter…
"I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four" -- the first numbers are odds, but the second numbers are a time (it took the horse over three hours to run the…
"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Friendships must be built…
"Coffee and friends are/make the perfect blend" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. " Coffee and Friends Are The Perfect Blend" was posted on Twitter by MN…