SLIF (Sorry Liver, It’s Friday)
Many people apologize to their liver before drinking. "Dear Liver, I'm sorry but it is Friday at 5p" was posted on Twitter on April 10, 2009. "Dear Liver: I'm Sorry. :(…
Archive for 02/2018
“What’s the greatest cheese of all time?”/“GOAT cheese.”
A goat cheese riddle is: Q: What's the greatest cheese of all time?A: GOAT cheese. "GOAT" is slang meaning "Greatest Of All Time." The joke was posted on Twitter on…
“Dear liver, it’s Friday. Sorry, little buddy”
Many people apologize to their liver before drinking. "Dear Liver, I'm sorry but it is Friday at 5p" was posted on Twitter on April 10, 2009. "Dear Liver: I'm Sorry. :(…
“When I asked a taxidermist what she did for a living, she replied with ‘You know, stuff’”
When asked what one does, "stuff" is a non-specific answer, but suppose one really does "stuff" for a living? "'Oh, you know, 'stuff'' ~ a taxidermist,…
“I’m convinced that the employees of IKEA were just used to be customers”
IKEA stores are very large. "I'm convinced the employees of ikea are customers who ha no clue how to get out and just gave the fuck up" was posted on Twitter by Chris Young on…
“When do burgers quit their jobs?”/“The day they decide to meat loaf.”
A burger riddle is: Q: When do burgers quit their jobs?A: The day they decide to meat loaf. The joke was printed in the book 101 Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch. Google Books101 Hamburger…
“Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday”
Some people dread Monday (the traditional start of the work week) so much that they're afraid to go to sleep on Sunday night. "Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday" is…
“What do you call a depressed cow?”/“An emoo.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a depressed cow?A: An emoo. "Emoo" is a pun on "moo" and "emo," as well as possibly "emu." The joke was posted on…
“I watched a film where a guy poured meat juices over a nonfiction book. It’s baste on a true story”
Many dramatic works are "based on a true story." If that story involves food, maybe it's "baste on a true story"? The pun was printed in the book Ridiculous Riddles (2003)…
“2 stages of my life: I should eat & I shouldn’t have eaten that much”
Two stages of thinking about food defines one's life, at least according to a post on Twitter by Sarcasm Society on June 29, 2016: "2 stages of my life :1) I should eat.2) I…
“What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?”/“No ballroom.”
A riddle about tight pants is: Q: What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?A: No ballroom. The "no ballroom" (no crotch space for a man's balls) joke has been cited in…
“What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?”/“Find the nearest skyscraper.”
Skyscrapers don't actually reach the clouds, but they are still very tall buildings. A riddle has been printed on an image: Q: What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?A: Find the nearest…
“A smart ass can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is”
A definition of a "smartass" was given by Bronx-born comedian Joey Bishop in 1975: "That's someone who, blindfolded and naked, can sit on a plate of ice-cream and tell you what…
“Where do suicide bombers go when they die?”/“Everywhere.”
A riddle about suicide bombers has been printed on many images: Q: Where do suicide bombers go when they die?A: Everywhere. The riddle was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2013, and on Reddit -- Jokes…
“What do cats read in the morning?”/“Mewspapers.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cats read in the morning?A: Mewspapers. The newspaper joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Kids' Cat BookBy Laima Dingwall and Annabel…
“What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?”/“It’s all in the grip.”
A saxophone riddle is: Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It’s all in the grip. That is, there is no difference musically. The saxophone joke was posted on the…
“Cinnamon is really just delicious sawdust”
Cinnamon is made from the bark of Cinnamomum trees. Cinnamon powder has been compared to sawdust. "Ground cinnamon is sawdust. But there is good sawdust and bad sawdust," a Chicago (IL)…
“Poorly constructed burritos get a bad wrap”
A burrito is a wrap. "The hearty little burrito is getting a bad wrap" -- a pun on "bad rap" -- was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on March 4, 1998. "Broken burritos…
“What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?”/“An ocean liner.”
A line dancer riddle is: Q: What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?A: An ocean liner. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. SL-T.netCategory: Dance jokesDate Added:…
“James Joyce walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version about Irish author James Joyce (1882-1941) is: "James Joyce walks into a…