“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flat mate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
Archive for 02/2018
“Why is there kosher salt, but no kosher pepper?”
There is "koshering salt" or "kosher salt," a larger grain salt used for removing surface blood from meat. However, there is no product called "kosher pepper."…
“My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They are his watch dogs”
A joke has it that a person named two dogs "Timex" and "Rolex" because they were "watch dogs." The "watchdog" pun has been cited in print since at least…
“A chicken burrito is just a breakfast burrito that was allowed to grow up”
"A chicken burrito is just a breakfast burrito that was allowed to grow up" is a one-line saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on February 26, 2018. A breakfast burrito…
“Hip hop onions are rap scallions”
If a scallion starts to rhyme, does that make it a "rap scallion"? There have been many puns. "And J.M. is an unsavory rap-scallion"/"Scallions do rap music? I did not know…
“I was eating green onions when all of a sudden, I started rhyming. They were rap scallions”
If a scallion starts to rhyme, does that make it a "rap scallion"? There have been many puns. "And J.M. is an unsavory rap-scallion"/"Scallions do rap music? I did not know…
“Some of the best moments are never captured by cameras and are not posted in any social media”
"Some of the best moments are never captured by cameras and are not posted in any social media platforms. They are kept in private and are cherished together with the best people" is a…
“May your troubles be less and your blessings be more” (toast)
An Irish blessing/toast has been cited in print since at least 1991: "May your troubles be lessAnd your blessings be moreAnd nothing but happinessCome through your door." The author is…
“I’m too embarrassed to go to my kindergarten reunion. I’ve put on, like, 130 pounds since then”
People often gain weight after they leave school and reunions can be frightening -- but a kindergarten reunion? "I declined an invitation to my Kindergarten Reunion because...well, you know,…
“Seeing a UPS truck as an adult is the childhood equivalent of seeing an ice cream truck”
Children get excited when they see an ice cream truck; adults get excited when they see a UPS delivery truck pull up. "As an adult waiting on a delivery and seeing a UPS truck pass you by is…
Cragel (croissant + bagel)
"Cragel" (croissant + bagel) is a portmanteau food word that was introduced by Scot Rossillo of The Bagel Store (754 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn) in September 2013. A croissant or…
“Why do bankers make great lovers?”/“They know the penalty for early withdrawal.”
A sex riddle about bankers is: Q: Why do men who are bankers make better lovers?A: Because they know that there is a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. The joke has been cited in print since…
“Never chase after someone who doesn’t chase after you. So the ice cream man can fuck off”
"Never chase after someone who doesn’t chase after you. So the ice cream man can fuck off for a start" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Im done chasing…
Crozel (croissant + pretzel)
"Crozel" (croissant + pretzel) is a portmanteau food word that was introduced by Crumbs bakery in October 2014. The "crozel" came in a Nutella flavor. ThrillistCRUMBS IS REBORN,…
Tacro (taco + croissant)
"Tacro" (taco + croissant) is a portmanteau food word that has been trademarked by Vive La Tarte of San Francisco, California. Vive La Tarte announced the "tacro" on December 4,…
“What do you call a snowman with a six pack?”/“An abdominal snowman.”
A Yeti or "Abominable Snowman" riddle is: Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?A: An abdominal snowman. "Abominable" means something very bad or unpleasant -- an…
“Bland salad is a problem that needs a dressing”
"Addressing" sounds like "a dressing." "Bland salad is a problem that needs addressing" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by SickipediaToday on February 17, 2012.…
“Never ask a starfish for directions”
"Never ask a starfish for directions" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The five-pointed starfish can take one in five different directions. "When your…
“I told my boss I needed a pay raise. I said that three other companies are after me” (joke)
There's an old joke about an employee asking for a raise: EMPLOYEE: I need a pay raise, sir. Three companies are after me!BOSS: What companies?EMPLOYEE: The gas company, the water company and…
“I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me”
A math joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on March 18, 2012: "I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me." Pun of the Day (March 19, 2012)I…