“Dentists are janitors for mouths”
"A dentist is just a janitor for someone's mouth" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2016. "A dentist is just like a janitor for your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
Archive for 09/2017
“It’s only a gambling addiction if you keep losing. Otherwise, it’s a high paying career”
What defines a gambling addiction? "'It's not a gambling addiction if you're winning'-Devon McGurk" was posted on Twitter on April 6, 2010. "Is it still a…
“Pie rates of Penn’s aunts” (pun)
The Pirates of Penzance; or, The Slave of Duty is a comic opera with music by Arthur Sullivan and libretto by W. S. Gilbert, opened at the Fifth Avenue Theatre in New York City on December 31,…
“Slim Jims are just meat flavored Laffy Taffy”
"Slim Jim" beef jerky snacks has been compared to "Laffy Taffy" taffy snacks. "He said 'Slim Jim's are the Laffy Taffy of meat" the guy is crazy" was…
“Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence”
"Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence" is a jocular math saying. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 3, 2012. “Baseball is ninety percent mental, and…
“I started a cold air balloon business, but I’m having trouble getting it off the ground”
Start-up businesses try to get "off the ground," but usually not literally. A joke was posted on AnimalJokes.co.uk in 2003: "Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air…
“Bricks are domesticated rocks”
Some homes are made of brick, so does that mean that brick is domesticated? "A brick is a domesticated rock" was posted on Twitter by Julie Resigned on November 3, 2013. "Bricks are…
Red Double Cross; Red Double Crossed (Red Cross + double-cross)
The Red Cross (the American Red Cross in the United States) provides emergency assistance and disaster relief, but many people state that Red Cross donations do not reach disaster victims.…
“What’s the difference between a college freshman and a high school senior?”/“Three months.”
A popular college saying is: Q: What’s the difference between a college freshman and a high school senior?A: Three months of summer vacation. That is, there is not much time to prepare for…
Double Red Cross; Double Red Crossed (double-cross + Red Cross)
The Red Cross (the American Red Cross in the United States) provides emergency assistance and disaster relief, but many people state that Red Cross donations do not reach disaster victims.…
Six Million Jews
"Six million Jews" is the frequent number that is given for number of Jews who died in World War II (The Holocaust). Some people have disputed that number, while others -- such as this…
“Who is the fastest man on earth?”/“A drummer. He beats time.”
A riddle about a drummer has been cited in print since 1858: Q: Why is a drummer the fastest man in the world? A: Because time beats all men, but the drummer beats time. "Who is the fastest…
“Depression is the toothpaste to the sweet orange juice that is life”
Brushing one’s teeth with toothpaste and then drinking orange juice results in an unpleasant taste, but it’s usually not fatal. “Toothpaste before orange juice equals death” is a one-line…
“What is a crowbar?”/“A place were crows go to get a drink.”
A jocular definition of "crowbar" is: Q: What is a crowbar?A: A place where crows got to get a drink. Forms of the joke/pun/riddle have been cited in print since at least 1890. "True…
“Singing is like talking in cursive”
"Singing is like talking in cursive lol #WeirdThought" is a saying that was posted on Twitter on October 3, 2011. "Singing is like talking in cursive" was posted on Reddit --…
“I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire. Spoiler alert”
"Spoiler alert" is a warning that the plot of a drama is about to be revealed. "Spoiler" alerts usually don't involve food, but there are several jokes. "SPOILER…
“I’m glad ‘feta’ isn’t the plural of ‘fetus.’ If it were, I might have to stop eating Greek salads”
"Feta" is a cheese used in Greek salad. The plural of "fetus" is "fetuses" or "feti" -- not "feta." A joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“A gyro is a Greek taco” (“A gyro is a lamb taco”)
The Greek "gyro" (meat wrapped in a pita) has been compared to the Mexican "taco" (meat -- or some other filling -- wrapped in a tortilla). "Greek taco -- a gyro" was…
“Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat, but they feed off attention”
Vegans have a reputation of telling everyone that they're vegans. “How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a popular joke. "Vegans…
“What ghost is handy in the kitchen?”/“A recipe spook.”
A recipe riddle is: Q: What ghost is handy in the kitchen?A: A recipe spook. The "recipe spook" joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. 2 Funny 4 UCategory: Food jokesDate…