“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again”
"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again" is a joke that has been printed on many images. ""I've just been on a…
Archive for 08/2017
“What do you call a vegetarian Viking?”/“A Nor-vegan.”
"Norwegian" sounds a bit like "nor-vegan." "A vegetarian in Norway is a Nor-vegan" was posted on Twitter on January 31, 2011. "What do you call a vegetarian…
“What’s it called when you run 26.2 miles in underwear?”/“A marathong.”
"Marathong" (marathon + thong) is an infrequently used marathon joke word. "Marathong? Running in a thong?" was posted on Twitter on March 14, 2010. "I just invented a race…
“Why did the man dump ground beef on his head?”/“He wanted a meatier shower.”
"Meteor shower" sounds like "meatier shower." “That looks like a meatier shower" was printed in a 1996 novel. "WHY DID KIBO PUT LOW QUALITY GROUND BEEF IN HIS SHOWER…
“I never knew I could drop out of school until the ‘Be cool, stay in school’ guy gave a speech”
"Be cool -- stay in school" is an education slogan that has been trademarked with a first use of 2016. Some people, however, didn't know that not going to school was a legal option.…
“Damn girl, are you a fire alarm? Because you’re really loud and annoying”
"Damn girl, are you a fire alarm? Because you're really loud and annoying" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Damn girl are you a fire alarm cause your loud as…
“Why did the chewing gum cross the road?”/“Because it was under the chicken’s foot.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A chewing gum version is: Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the…
“Why do they call guns arms and arms guns?”
A gun is a "firearm," or "arms" in the plural. "Guns" is slang for "biceps." A popular question is: "Why do they call guns arms and arms guns?"…
“What is Count Dracula’s favorite snack?”/“A fangfurter.”
A frankfurter riddle has been cited in print since at least 1976: Q: What is Count Dracula's favorite snack?A: A fangfurter? A snake version of the riddle was posted on Twitter on December 10,…
“Why couldn’t the Italian chef get into his house?”/“Because he had gnocchi.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterChris Felax @robotpainWhy couldn't the Italian chef get into his house using pasta? (He had gnocchi) #BadJokes #Gnocchi3:38 PM - 29 Nov 2010 TwitterLebs…
“What do you call a pretend railway?”/“A play station.”
A riddle about PlayStation is: Q: What do you call a pretend railway?A: A play station. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 2, 2004. Wikipedia: PlayStationPlayStation…
Buffalo: Buffalo Sundae (ice cream sundae)
One of the first "sundaes" (in print several times in 1902) appears to have been the "Buffalo sundae." The city of Buffalo is located in upstate New York, near Ithaca (where the…
“Why did the man dump ground beef on his head?”/“He wanted a meatier shower.”
"Meteor shower" sounds like "meatier shower." “That looks like a meatier shower" was printed in a 1996 novel. "WHY DID KIBO PUT LOW QUALITY GROUND BEEF IN HIS SHOWER…
“KFC should sponsor a soccer team called Kentucky FC”
"FC" usually stands for "football club," not "fried chicken." "KFC" fast food restaurants had the original name of "Kentucky Fried Chicken." Many…
“Three Republicans walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Democrat/Republican version is: "Three Democrats/Republicans walk into a bar. The…
“Three Democrats walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Democrat/Republican version is: "Three Democrats/Republicans walk into a bar. The…
“Decaf is faced backwards”
"Decaf is faced backwards" is an obvious and somewhat popular saying. "DECAF'-- backwards is --'FACED" was posted on the newsgroup talk.bizarre on March 27, 1992.…
“Start each day with a positive thought like, ‘I can go back to bed in 16 or 17 short hours’”
"Start each day with a positive thought like, 'I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours'" is a jocular anti-work saying that has been printed on many images. "I start…
“An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar..." is one popular…
“A doctor walks into a bar…” (“hickory daiquiri doc” bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A form of this joke has a doctor entering a bar and ordering his usual daiquiri, but the…