“I saw an Amish billboard that said, ‘don’t drink or drive’”
"Don't drink and drive" is a popular saying. "Don't drink or drive" -- with an Amish picture -- is a saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. BustedTees came out…
Archive for 07/2017
“A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar… (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A sandpaper version was posted on Twitter on November 24, 2012: "Sandpaper walks into…
“If coffee is my favorite drug, then what is coffee’s favorite drug?”/“Pot.”
A coffeepot riddle is: Q: If coffee is my favorite drug, then what is coffee's favorite drug?A: Pot. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 30, 2017. Reddit -- JokesIf coffee is my…
“The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms”
A jocular one-line saying about cannibalism is: "The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms." The joke was posted on Twitter by Tripp Perry on September 13, 2011. “Bulimic cannibal at…
“Practice as if you are the worst. Play as if you are the best”
"Practice as if you are the worst. Perform/Play as if you are the best" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Practice as if you are the worst, perform as…
“There are more important things than money, but they won’t date you if you don’t have any”
"There are more important things than money, but they won't date you if you don't have any" is a jocular line about money and dating that has been cited in print since at least…
“When life gives you melons, buy a bra”
"If/When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying. "If/When life gives you melons, you may/might be dyslexic" is a jocular variant that has been printed on many…
“I hate flash mobs. One once kicked my door down and forced me to update my Adobe”
Does Adobe Flash have flash mobs associated with it? A joke was posted on Twitter on January 31, 2013: "I hate flash mobs. One mob actually busted my door down and forced me to update my…
“My church accepts all denominations—fivers, tenners, twenties”
"My church accepts all denominations -- fivers, tenners, twenties" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Our Aunt Julie says her church accepts all denominations…
“I just got done working all night, and I am ready to call it a day”
"I just got done working all night, and I am ready to call it a day" is a seemingly contradictory saying about working during the night. "Been working all night on the…