“What’s the opposite of a tsunami?”/“A microwave.”
A riddle about a microwave is: Q: What's the opposite of a tsunami?A: A microwave. "'Where in the house can you find the opposite of a tsunami? The microwave!' - Band…
Archive for 05/2017
“Sleep feels the way pizza tastes”
"Sleep feels the way pizza tastes" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Krista Doyle on June 25, 2012. TwitterKrista Doyle…
“An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer”
California Attorney General Evvelle J. Younger (1918-1989) was quoted in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on March 3, 1971 about the problems of legal delay: "An incompetent attorney can delay a…
“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it”
"The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is usually…
“If tea leaves, does coffee have grounds for divorce?”
A joke has tea and coffee married: "If the tea leaves, does it give the coffee grounds for divorce?" The tea and coffee puns were cited in several newspapers in 1911. 26 May 1911, New…
“Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterSteve's Quotes Today @todayquotes"Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little." Thomas Aloysius Dorganwb…
“9/11 jokes always fall flat”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke was posted on Twitter on February 6,…
“Why was the Pepsi employee fired?”/“He tested positive for Coke.”
Pepsi and Coke are rival soft drink companies. A drug testing riddle is: Q: Why was the Pepsi employee fired?A: He tested positive for Coke. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003 and…
“I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterSteve's Quotes Today @todayquotes"I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it."Rogers Hornsbywb 121…
Ithaca: “Ithaca is 10 square miles, surrounded by reality”
“Washington, DC is 12 square miles bordered by reality” is a saying that dates to the 1960s. ""Ithaca is 10 square miles, surrounded by reality" is a saying about the city in…
“Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you”
"Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you, then they hang you on the wall" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“I have a condition which prevents me from going on a diet…it’s called hunger”
"I have a condition which prevents me from going on a diet…it’s called hunger" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "I have this condition which prevents me from…
“It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m thinking about food”
"It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later" is a jocular one-line food saying that has been…
“Where there’s a whisk, there’s a way”
"Where there's a will there's a way" is an old proverb. "Where there's a whisk, there's a way" is a cooking variation that has been printed on many images.…
“A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch”
"A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American chef, cookbook author and teacher James Beard…
“The depressing thing about tennis is that I’ll never be as good as a wall”
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall" is a joke from American stand-up comedian Mich Hedberg (1968-2005) that has been…
“Why was the Pepsi employee fired?”/“He tested positive for Coke.”
Pepsi and Coke are rival soft drink companies. A drug testing riddle is: Q: Why was the Pepsi employee fired?A: He tested positive for Coke. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003 and…
“I don’t take soup. You can’t build a meal on a lake”
"No, I don't take soup. You can't build a meal on a lake" is a soup saying that has been printed on many images. The quotation is from New York-born socialite and interior…
“Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery”
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" is a saying by English writer Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832). "Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery" is a variation that…
“Washington, DC is 12 square miles bordered by reality”
"Washington, DC is 12 square miles bordered by reality" is a statement about the United States capital city -- "Washington" is a metonym for the federal government -- that is…