“May your house always be too small to hold all your friends”
"May your home/house always be too small to hold all of your friends" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A "Household Hints from Heloise" by Heoise Cruse…
Archive for 12/2016
“Why does Scrooge love Rudolph?”/“Because every buck is dear to him.”
A popular Christmas riddle based on the Cherles Dickens story A Christmas Carol> is: Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?A: Because every buck is dear to him. The joke has…
“Yo mama is so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas”
A popular "yo mama" insult joke is: "Yo mama is so old her first Christmas was the first Christmas." "Hahaha ur momma so old her first christmas.......was the first…
“I bought my mom a fridge for Christmas” (joke)
Faces "light up" when people receive gifts. Steve Toyne posted on Twitter on November 5, 2010 and reposted as a Christmas joke on December 22, 2014: "I bought my girlfriend a fridge…
“Why are there no jokes about turkey giblets?”/“Because the punchlines are offal.”
A turkey giblets riddle is: Q: Why are there no jokes about turkey giblets?A: Because the punchlines are offal. The riddle has been cited in print since at least December 2013, when it was included…
“You never really hear about anyone stress-eating vegetables”
Many people who are streesed eat a lot of junk food, such as cookies or ice cream. "Erica" posted a popular tweet on December 19, 2016: "You never really hear about anyone…
“Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?”/“Because their days are numbered.”
An Advent calendar tracks the days between the first Sunday of Advent (a day from November 27 to December 3) until Christmas (december 25), A popular riddle is: Q: Why is it getting harder to buy…
“What athlete is warmest in winter?”/“A long jumper.”
A winter riddle is: Q: What athlete is warmest in winter?A: A long jumper. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2002. 24 December 2002, Evening Standard (London, UK), "Heard the…
“How did Scrooge win the football game?”/“The ghost of Christmas passed!”
A popular Christmas riddle based on the Cherles Dickens story A Christmas Carol> is: Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?A: The ghost of Christmas passed! The joke has been cited in print…
“Which is the strongest day in the week?”/“Sunday - all the rest are weekdays.”
A riddle about the days of the week has been cited in print since at least 1855: Q: What is the strongest day of the week?A: Sunday. All of the rest are "weak" days. Saturday later joined…
“What kind of paper likes music?”/“Wrapping paper.”
A popular Christmas riddle is: Q: What kind of paper likes music?A: (W)rapping paper. The joke has been cited in print since at least December 1997, when it was printed in The Sun (London) as one…
“How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?”/“One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.”
"Good King Wenceslas" is a Chistmas carol that begins: "Good King Wenceslas looked outOn the feast of StephenWhen the snow lay round aboutDeep and crisp and even." "Deep…
“What’s the most popular Christmas wine?”/“I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What's the most popular Christmas wine?A: "I don't like Brussels sprouts!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google Books1,001…
“What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar?”/“He got 25 days.”
An Advent calendar tracks the 25 days in December until Christmas, A popular riddle is: Q: What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar?A: He got 25 days. The joke was posted on Twitter on…
“What do snowmen wear on their heads?”/“Ice caps.”
A popular winter riddle is: Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?A: Ice caps. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. Google BooksThe Father Christmas: It's a Blooming Terrible…
“Christmas: The time of year when everyone gets Santamental”
"Santamental" (Santa Claus + sentimental) is a popular portmanteau term used at Christmas. "Mr. Santamental Claus" was published in a November 1938 advertisement in the Los…
“I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner”
"I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The line was posted to the newsgroup…
“The first Noel, the angels did say. You’ll be paying your bills from now until May”
The beginning of the Christmas carol "The First Noel" is: "The First Noel the angel did sayWas to certain poor shepherdsin fields as they lay. Mad magazine made a Christmas parody of…
“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful”
Norman Vincent Peale (1898-1993) spent 52 years at Marble Collegiate Church and was one of New York City's most famous preachers. Peale wrote in a newspaper column published on December 21,…
“What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?”/“Snowballs.”
A snow riddle is: Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?A: Snowballs. The riddle was printed in a 1975 newspaper and a 1981 book. Other snowball riddles include “What do you…