“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log”
American comedian and television host Ellen DeGenered said; "Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log." It's uncertain when DeGeneres first said this popular holiday quote, but it…
Archive for 12/2016
“What’s the best present for a musician?”/“A broken drum. You can’t beat it.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterClarion Associates@ClarionInsWhat is the best Christmas present a musician could ever receive? "A broken drum. You can't beat it!"…
“There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works”
American computer scientist and Yale University professor Alan Perlis (1922-1990) wrote "Epigrams on Programming" for ACM's SIGNPLAN (September 1982). One popular epigram is:…
“Some fairy tales begin, ‘If i’m elected’”
“All fairy tales don’t start out, ‘Once upon a time.’ Many begin, ‘If I’m elected,'" is a political saying that has been cited in print since at least 1969. The origin is…
“Pavlov walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov (1849=1936) is: "Pavlov walks…
“Why is it so hard to recognize a pilot?”/“They always travel in disguise.”
"Disguise" can sound like "de skies" (the skies). A pun is: Q: Why is it so hard to recognize a pilot?A: They always travel in disguise. The joke was posted on Reddit --…
“I’m trying to get into the Christmas spirit, but the damn bottle won’t open!”
"I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit, but the damn bottle won't open!" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Is trying to get into the Christmas…
“A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitterdonni saphire@donniA new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages4:09 AM - 31 Mar 2014 Twittermuliana jittermeier@jittermeierstudies have…
“When someone asks where is your Christmas spirit, point to the liquor cabinet”
"When someone asks 'where is your Christmas spirit?', is it wrong to point to the liquor cabinet?" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "So when someone…
“What kind of music do wind turbines like?”/“They’re big metal fans.”
A riddle about heavy metal music is: Q: What kind of music do wind turbines like?A: They're big metal fans. "What kind of music do they like? They are big metal fans" was posted on…
“Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?”/“Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.”
A popular math joke about Halloween and Christmas is: Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31! That is, the number "25" (10 or decimal…
“This Christmas, I’d like a fat bank account and a slim body”
A jocular Christmas letter has been printed on many images: "Dear Santa, This year please give me a fat bank account and a slim body. (Please don't mix them up like you did last…
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them for Christmas”
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The line has been credited to American television…
“The federal government is an aircraft carrier, not a speedboat”
U.S. President-elect Ronald Reagan wrote in The Wall Street Journal on January 9, 1981: "It will take some time to accomplish the things I have described. Government is an ocean liner, not a…
“Why does Christmas always come just when the stores are so crowded?”
"Why does Christmas always come just when the stores are so crowded?" is a jocular question about Christmas. "Shame that Christmas comes just when stores are so crowded" was…
“Cereal is breakfast soup”
Cereal in milk (often made for breakfast) has been compared to soup (often made for dinner). "'I love cereal. It's like breakfast soup.' -Eric Schumann" was posted on…
“Vegetarian ham radio enthusiasts use a cheese radio”
Ham radio has nothing to do with "ham" (the food), but there are jokes. "Vegetarian ham radio enthusiasts use a cheese radio" was posted on Twitter by Mr Roger Quimbly on July…
“What’s a chef’s weapon of choice?”/“A salt rifle.”
The term "assault rifle" has led to some "a salt rifle" jokes. "What is the chef's signature gun? 'A salt rifle'" was posted on Twitter on November 5,…
“A waffle is just a more considerate pancake”
"Tragic Ally" posted on Twitter on March 26, 2016: "A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes."…
“Why are Dasher and Dancer always taking coffee breaks?”/“Because they’re Santa’s star bucks.”
Entry in progress -- B.P.Starbucks coffeehouses Wikipedia: Santa Claus's reindeerSanta Claus's reindeer form a team of flying reindeer traditionally held to pull the sleigh of Santa Claus…