News Klux Klan (news + Ku Klux Klan)
"News Klux Klan" (news + Ku Klux Klan) is a term used for a news media that is intolerant (like the KKK). "FOX News Klux Klan" was posted on Twitter on February 22, 2011. The…
Archive for 11/2016
“Why are many umpires fat?”/“Because they always clean their plate.”
Baseball umpires frequently dust off home plate. A baseball riddle is: Q: Why are many umpires fat?A: Because they always clean their plate. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary” (Yogi Berra Night)
New York Yankees rookie player Yogi Berra (1925-2015) was honored with a Yogi Berra Night on June 6, 1947 at his old neighborhood in St. Louis, Missouri. Berra wrote in the book When You Come to a…
“You can’t hit and think at the same time” (baseball saying)
A story was told in the June 12, 1947 New York (NY) Times about Yankees baseball player Yogi Berra (1925-2015) that manager Bucky Harris (who first managed the Yankees in 1947) told Berra to think…
“What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?”/“Pleased to eat you.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?A: "Pleased to eat you." The riddle was posted to the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 29,…
“I’d like to thank my parents for making this possible and my children for making it necessary”
Danish and American pianist and comedian Victor Borge (1909-2000) was cited in a February 1958 newspaper for ending his performance with this jocular line: "I want to thank my parents for…
“What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?”/“Catch you later!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: WHat did the baseball glove say to the baseball?A: "Catch you later!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2002. Google BooksSuper Silly RiddlesBy…
“What did the pancake say to the baseball player?”/“Batter up!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What did the pancake say to the baseball player?A: "Batter up!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1997. “How is a baseball team like a…
“This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave”
Elmer Davis (1890-1958), an author and New York (NY) Times political reporter and editorial writer, wrote in the book But We Were Born Free. (1954): "This will remain the land of the free only…
“The only easy day was yesterday” (Navy SEAL motto)
The motto of the United States Navy SEALs is written on the Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) Training course at the Naval Special Warfare Training Center in Coronado, California: "The…
“In war, there are no unwounded soldiers”
Argentine writer José Narosky is credited with: "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.""En la guerra, no hay soldados ilesos." The quotation has been cited in English since…
“What happened when the waiter dropped the Thanksgiving meal?” (joke)
If a waiter drops a tray containing a Thanksgiving dinner, it's "the downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece, and the breaking up of China." The joke -- originally not a…
“What school supply is always tired?”/“A knapsack.”
Do knapsacks take naps? A jocular "daffynition" (daffy + definition) was cited in 1943: "Knapsack: a sleeping bag." A school riddle has been cited in print since at least 2007:…
“A dangling modifier walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dangling modifier version is: "A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing…
“Want to stop riots? Play the national anthem. They’ll all sit down”
"Want to stop riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The joke is a response to the 2016 U.S. national…
“Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?”/“The outside.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: WHich side of a turkey has the most feathers?A: The outside. "What side of a chicken has the most feathers on? The outside" was cited in a 1932…
“Which side of a turkey has the juiciest meat?”/“The inside.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: Which side of a turkey has the juiciest meat?A: The inside. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2008. “Which side of a turkey has the most…
“If you’re in a cold room, stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees”
"If you're in a cold room, go stand in the corner. It's 90 degrees" is a geometry joke that has been printed on many images. "Why do Aggies/blondes stand in the corner when…
“Where do turkeys go to dance?”/“The Butterball.”
A riddle about Butterball turkeys is: Q: Where do turkeys go to dance?A: The Butterball. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008. Wikipedia: ButterballButterball is a brand of turkey…
“What hides in the bakery at Christmas?”/“Mince spy.”
"Mince pie" sounds like "mince spy." The observation was cited in an 1872 newspaper: "The little boy who wanted to go and see the French Spy, was told to be good and stay…