“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people”
"Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Honesty is a expensive gift. Don’t expect that gift…
Archive for 12/2015
“Promises are like crying babies in a theater. They should be carried out at once”
"Promises are like crying babies in a theater. They should be carried out at once" is a popular saying that has been printed on GIFs. What can be so annoying to so many as a crying baby…
“Movies would be better if they shot less film and more actors”
The term film "shoot" has been the subject of jokes, like this one in 1938: "Winchell thinks Hollywood should shoot fewer pictures and more actors." The Hollywood joke has been…
“Ladies and Germs” (comic introduction of “Ladies and Gentlemen”)
"Ladies and Germs" (for "Ladies and Gentlemen") is a joking way that a comedian might address an audience. "Ladies and Germs" has been cited in print insce at least…
“Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient”
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient" is a modern form of a very old saying. "Never be ashamed of thy calling, for Pouertie is no vice, though it be an…
“I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Robert BenchleyRobert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an American humorist, critic and actor.(...)So who's in a hurry?. To…
“My grandmother still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks straight from the bottle”
The word "glasses" can mean "eyeglasses" or "wine glasses." A popular joke has a comedian state that his mother (or grandmother) "still doesn't need glasses.…
“The NSA walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke involving the National Security Agency (NSA) is: "The NSA walks into a bar.…
“What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis” (joke)
"Raining cats and dogs" is an old expression for a heavy rain. It does not mean a literal rain of animals, but there is a weather joke: "What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?…
“How did you become a star?” (joke)
A popular joke about an actor/performer is: Q: How did you become a star?A: I started out in a gaseous state, and then I cooled. The joke has been credited to American television host and comedian…
DisAster Place or DisAstor Place (Astor Place Opera House)
Manhattan's Astor Place is named after John Jacob Astor (July 17, 1763 – March 29, 1848), then New York City's wealthiest resident. THe Astor Place Opera House was opened on November…
DisAster Place or DisAstor Place (Astor Place)
Manhattan's Astor Place is named after John Jacob Astor (July 17, 1763 – March 29, 1848), then New York City's wealthiest resident. THe Astor Place Opera House was opened on November…
“When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?”/“Every year!”
First comes Christmas and then comes New Year's Eve, but a joke switches this up a bit: Q: When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas Day? A: Every year! The joke has been popular since…
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt”
American singer, actor and comedian Dean Martin (1917-1995) liked to drink and he liked to golf, and is credited with the popular quote: ' "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even…
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on”
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" is a jocular line that dates to at least the early 1800s. "No man could be called drunk, so long as he could…
Remakequel (remake + prequel/sequel)
A "remakequel" is a story that is essentially a remake of another story, although it claims to be a prequel or a sequel to that original story. A "remakequel" can also be a…
“Life doesn’t imitate art. It imitates bad television”
"Art imitates life" is an old saying that dates back to at least ancient Greece. "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life" is from Oscar Wilde's 1889 essay,…
“Someone’s stollen my German Christmas cake”
"Stollen" is a German fruit bread, often served at Christmas. There are many puns with stollen and "stolen." "Thought of a new recipe for a cake with marzipan and sultanas.…
“Do you smell carrots?” (snowman joke)
A snowman usually has a carrot for a nose. A popular joke (cited in print since at least 2002) has two snowmen standing in a field. One snowman asks the other, "Do you smell carrots?" The…
“What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?”/“Kids won’t eat broccoli.”
Children hate certain foods. A popular joke is: Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?A: Kids won't eat broccoli. "What's the difference between Brussels sprouts…