“Man with one chopstick go hungry”
The joke about "eating with one chopstick" has several variations. "Who eats with one chopstick goes hungry" was cited in print in 1967. "I've got a sure-fire diet…
Archive for 12/2012
“Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses”
"Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses" (that is, subordinate Santa Clauses) is an annual Christmas pun that's frequently included in Christmas joke collections. "Regards…
“It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it”
"It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it" (or, "it's dirty work, but someone's gotta do it") is a popular cliché said about difficult jobs. In 1955,…
“The toughest job you’ll ever love” (Peace Corps; teaching; nursing; parenting)
The Peace Corps has used the slogan "The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love" since 1978. Parenting is often called "the hardest/toughest job you'll ever love," and a 1990s…
“Instant human—just add coffee”
"Instant human -- just add coffee" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and coffee mugs. The saying has been cited in print since at…
“Do I look like a freakin’ people person?”
"Do I look like a (freaking/fucking) people person?" is a jocular statement that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, bumper stickers and posters. The saying is popular…
“Journalism: A profession to explain to others what it personally does not understand”
"Journalism — a profession whose business it is to explain to others what it personally does not understand" is a quotation credited to Lord Northcliffe (1865-1922), a British newspaper…
“Journalism is literature in a hurry”
"Journalism is literature in a hurry" has been credited (since at least 1973) to British poet and cultural critic Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), but there's no evidence that he said it.…
“There can be no higher law in journalism than to tell the truth and shame the devil”
Newspaper columnist and author Walter Lippmann (1889-1974) wrote in Liberty and the News (1920): "There can be no higher law in journalism than to tell the truth and shame the devil." The…
“You furnish the pictures and I’ll furnish the war” (Spanish-American War)
Entry in progress -- B.P. William Randolph Hearst (1863-1951)Frederic Remington (1861-1909) Wikipedia: Yellow journalismSpanish-American WarPulitzer and Hearst are often adduced as the cause of the…
“School is punishment for the crime of being young”
"School is punishment for the crime of being young" is a quotation that has been credited since at least 2008 to Nana Lee; it's not known who she is or when she said it.…
“The ladder of success is never crowded at the top”
"The ladder of success is never crowded at the top" means something similar to "there's always room at the top" -- for someone who is talented and who works hard, there is…
“If you cannot do great things. do small things in a great way” (“Small things with great love”)
"If I can not do great things, I can do small things in a great way" was credited in 1902 to American theologian James Freeman Clarke (1810-1888). It's not certain when Clarke said…
“Teapot is on, the cups are waiting” (poem)
A short poem about tea has been cited in print since at least 1999 and is of unknown authorship: "Teapot is on, the cups are waiting, Favorite chairs anticipating, No matter what I have to do,…
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) 7 January 1853, Evening Star (Washington, DC), "Scissors and Paste," pg. 3, col. 3:If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are…
“America will never be destroyed from the outside”
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves" is a quotation frequently attributed to Abraham Lincoln…
“What is a communist? One who hath yearnings for equal division of unequal earnings.”
English poet Ebenezer Elliott (1781-1849) wrote: EPIGRAM.What is a communist? One who hath yearnings For equal division of unequal earnings: Idler, or bungler, or both, he is willing To fork out…
“Every government does as much harm as it can, and as much good as it must”
"Every government will do as much harm as it can and as much good as it must" was written by British journalist Claud Cockburn (1904-1981) in his autobiography A Discord of Trumpets…
“Legalize freedom—vote Libertarian”
The Libertarian Party in the United States was founded on December 11, 1971. The Libertarian slogan "Legalize freedom" has been cited in print since at least 1974; "Legalize freedom…
“A libertarian is a Republican who smokes pot”
"A libertarian is a Republican/Conservative who smokes pot" is a frequently told political joke. American anarchist writer Bob Black spoke in 1984 on "The Libertarian as…