“What did the assassin do when he was hungry?”/“The assassinate.”
"Assassinate" shouldn't be confused with "assassin ate," but there are jokes. "A murderer had heartburn because of something the assassinate. (Pun of the Day)"…
Alphebetical for "w"
“What did the astronaut cook for lunch?”/“An unidentified frying object.”
An "Unidentified Flying Object" (UFO) has the food equivalent in "Unidentified Frying Object." "Some restaurants serve what can only be called Unidentified Frying…
“What did the astronaut see on his skillet?”/“Unidentified frying objects.”
An "Unidentified Flying Object" (UFO) has the food equivalent in "Unidentified Frying Object." "Some restaurants serve what can only be called Unidentified Frying…
“What did the astronaut see on the stove?”/“An unidentified frying object.”
An "Unidentified Flying Object" (UFO) has the food equivalent in "Unidentified Frying Object." "Some restaurants serve what can only be called Unidentified Frying…
“What did the baby corn say to its mom?”/“Where’s my pop corn?”
Popcorn is the subject of a frequently told joke: Q: What did the baby corn say to its mom? A: Where's pop corn? The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. “Who called them dad…
“What did the bacon say to the sandwich?”/“See you in the club!”
A club sandwich riddle is: Q: What did the bacon say to the sandwich?A: See you in the club! The joke was cited on Twitter on July 25, 2009. "What did the bacon say to the provolone cheese?…
“What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?”/“COOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!”
No one likes to get a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking. Soccer announcer Andrés Cantor is known for his iconic "Goal!" shout when one is scored. A riddle was posted on Reddit --…
“What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?”/“Catch you later!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: WHat did the baseball glove say to the baseball?A: "Catch you later!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2002. Google BooksSuper Silly RiddlesBy…
“What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?”/“You’re too young to smoke.”
A chimney riddle is: Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?A: "You're too young to smoke." The (cigarette) smoking joke has been cited in print since at least 1941.…
“What did the book tell the highlighter?”/“Mark my words!”
"Mark my words" is an expression meaning that one should remember what the speak is saying. "Mark my words" usually does not involve literally marking words, but there are…
“What did the bottle write on the postcard?”/“Wish you were beer!”
"Wish you were beer" is a drinking pun on “Wish you were here.” A riddle is: Q: What did the bottle write on the postcard?A: "Wish you were beer!" The riddle was posted on…
“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?”/“Beep repaired.”
The motto of the Boy Scouts of America is "Be Prepared." There's a joke: Q: What did the boy scout say when he fixed the car horn?A: "Beep repaired." The joke has been…
“What did the bread say to the butter?/‘You’re my butter half.’”
"You're my better half" shouldn't be confused with "you're my butter half," but there are jokes. "what did the skim milk say to the cream? 'You're…
“What did the broccoli say to the getaway driver?”/“Floret.”
The word "floret" (a cluster of flower buds) is pronounced in English as "floor it." In French, the word "floret" sounds like "floor-ay." There have been…
“What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?”/“Bison!”
Parents say "goodbye" when their children are sent off to school, prompting a silly joke: Q: What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?A: Bison! (Bye, son!) "What did…
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?”/“Thistle have to do!”
An animal riddle (frequently told at Easter) is: Q: What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to east?A: "Thistle have to do!" The "thistle" pun has been cited in print…
“What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?”/“He wiped his ass.”
A cannibalism riddle is: Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?A: He wiped his ass. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 1, 1993. Google Groups:…
“What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant?”/“Chow Man.”
A cannibal riddle involving a Chinese restaurant is: Q: What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant?A: Chow Man. The riddles was posted to Reddit -- Dad Jokes on April 9, 2017. Reddit --…