“Why can’t you trust an Everything Bagel?”/“They’re pretty seedy!”
"Seedy" has a double meaning, and there are several food jokes. "Why does your mom disapprove of sesame bagels? because they're seedy" was posted on Twitter by arleigh on…
Alphebetical for "w"
“Why can’t you trust burritos to keep a secret?”/“They tend to spill the beans.”
To "spill the beans" means to reveal a secret. A riddle is: Q: Why can’t you trust burritos to keep a secret?A: They tend to spill the beans. "Q: Why can’t you trust a burrito?…
“Why couldn’t the blonde bob for apples?”/“Her brother was using the toilet.”
Bobbing for apples is usually done in a water bucket, but there's a popular "dumb blonde" joke: Q: Why couldn't the blonde bob for apples?A: Her brother was using the toilet!…
“Why couldn’t the egg quit smoking?”/“Because he’d Benedicted to it.”
"Benedicted" sounds like "been addicted," and there have been several "Eggs Benedict" puns. "When I lay an egg around here, it's just ignored! That's…
“Why couldn’t the elephant use the computer?”/“He was afraid of the mouse.”
"Elephants are scare of mice" is a popular belief. This is used in several riddles (with slight variations) about a computer "mouse." "Why couldnt the elephant use the…
“Why couldn’t the fish go shopping?”/“It didn’t have anemone.”
"Anemone" sounds like "any money," prompting the joke: Q: Why couldn't the clownfish afford a house?A: Because he didn't have anemone. The joke was cited on Twitter on…
“Why couldn’t the Italian chef get into his house?”/“Because he had gnocchi.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterChris Felax @robotpainWhy couldn't the Italian chef get into his house using pasta? (He had gnocchi) #BadJokes #Gnocchi3:38 PM - 29 Nov 2010 TwitterLebs…
“Why couldn’t the pig pay his bill?”/“He was a little shoat.”
A pig riddle is: Q: Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?A: He was a little shoat (short). The "shoat"/"short" joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi Jokes…
“Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?”/“Because he was sitting on the deck.”
There's a joke about a deck of cards and a ship's deck: Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?A: Because he was sitting on the deck. "We have lots of singing and reading, but…
“Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?”/“Because he was on a roll.”
A popular children's joke is: Q: Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?A: Because he was on a roll. The popular pun has been cited in print since at least 2004.…
“Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?”/“Because it got stuck in a crack.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A toilet paper version is: Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the…
“Why couldn’t Covid get a drink at the bar?”/“Because Covid 19.”
A Covid-19 riddle is: Q: Why couldn’t Covid get a drink at the bar?A: Because Covid 19. That is, Covid-19 is under (age) 21. The joke was posted on Twitter by Biggie Longs on September 5, 2020.…
“Why did 10 die?”/“Because he was in the middle of 9/11.”
A popular numbers joke is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7 8 9." A possibly politically incorrect numbers joke about the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center is: Q: Why…
“Why did a lost grizzly walk into a jewelry store?”/“Because he had to get his bear rings.”
To "lose one's bearings" is to become lost. It has nothing to do with a grizzly losing "bear rings," but there are jokes. "I was Yogi's best man, but then I lost…
“Why did a soccer manager give his team lighters?”/“Because they kept losing all of their matches.”
A pun about football (soccer) "matches" is: Q: Why did the football manager give his team lighters?A: Because they kept losing all of their matches. The joke was posted to the newsgroup…
“Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?”/“To get to the Dark Side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A Star Wars version is: Q: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?A:…
“Why did Dracula get tested for Covid-19?”/“Because of his coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?”/“There was a count down.”
A New Year's Eve riddle is: Q: Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?A: There was a count down. "Did you hear @CountVonCount passed out on new years eve? There was a count…
“Why did Eeyore cross the road?”/“To get to the other… sigh.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. "To get to the other sigh" is an alternative punchline.…
“Why did Eve want to move to New York?”/“She fell for the Big Apple!”
A "Big Apple" riddle is: Q: Why did Eve want to move to New York?A: She fell for the Big Apple! The biblical joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. Google BooksFunniest Riddle…