“Who died and made you king/ God/ boss/ president?”
"Who died and made you (this high position)" is a common put-down of a person who usually doesn't have that high position, but who aspires to it (or a person who has that high…
Alphebetical for "w"
“Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?”/“The skeleton crew.”
A "skeleton crew" has the minimum number of people -- and not actual skeletons -- but there's a Halloween riddle: Q: Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?A: The…
“Who do I ring in Google earth to tell them I got my front railings painted and I weeded, and they need to send the car back around?”
Google sends vehicles on streets to capture street views, but it doesn't tell homeowners when the Google vehicle is taking pictures. This was posted on X/Twitter by Sinead Ryan (@SineadRyan)…
“Who do monsters buy their cookies from?”/“The Ghoul Scouts.”
Girl Scout Cookies are sometimes joked to be "Ghoul Scout Cookies," especially around Halloween. "Ghoul Scout Cookies" was cited in print in 1963 and there's a riddle: Q:…
“Who do Texan Muslims worship?”/“Y’allah.” (y’all + Allah)
"Y'allah" is a portmanteau word of 'y'all" ("you all") and "Allah" (the Arabic word for "God"). "In N.Texas there are schools that…
“Who do you call for a taco/tequila emergency?”/“9-Juan-Juan.”
"Who do you call for a taco/tequila emergency?"/"9-Juan-Juan" -- a pun on the "911" emergency number -- has been printed on many images. "Got a Taco emergency?…
“Who does not love wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long”
"Who does not love wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long" is an old saying. The original German (cited in print since at least 1775) is: "Wer nicht liebt Wein,…
“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?”/“A turkey because it is always stuffed.”
A Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? (or, "Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?")A: A turkey because it is always stuffed. The joke has been cited in print…
“Who earns a living by driving customers away?”/“A taxi driver.”
A transportation riddle is: Q: Who earns a living by driving customers away?A: A taxi driver. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1955. 4 December 1955, South China Sunday Post-Herald…
“Who earns a living driving their customers away?”/“A taxi driver.”
A transportation riddle is: Q: Who earns a living by driving customers away?A: A taxi driver. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1955. 4 December 1955, South China Sunday Post-Herald…
“Who fixes time machines?”/“A quantum mechanic.”
"Quantum mechanics" shouldn't be confused with "auto mechanics," but there are jokes. "There is a hoary old joke: What do you call a physicist who works on quantum…
“Who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth may not come forth on the fifth”
Bottles of distilled beverages in the United States used to be sold in "fifths" (one-fifth of a gallon), prompting the Fourth of July (Independence Day) joke: "Who goes forth with a…
“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?”/“The crossing gourd.”
A popular fall riddle about school crossing guards and pumpkins is: Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?A: The crossing gourd. "Yield to the crossing gourd" -- with…
“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?”/“The crossing gourd.”
A popular fall riddle about school crossing guards and pumpkins is: Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?A: The crossing gourd. "Yield to the crossing gourd" -- with…
“Who in the fuck orders a medium pizza?”
Many people cannot understand how anyone orders a medium pizza. One should always order a large pizza, even if there is leftover pizza. "@FabMissK: 'Pl[a]ybook is like a medium pizza. Who…
“Who invented pickles? Dinosaurs. It was during the Vlassic period”
Vlasic Pickles shouldn't be confused with the Jurassic period, but there are jokes. "But who's the ancient stork that made the pickles? #hmm RT @themarkbanker: The Vlasic Period:…
“Who invented popcorn chicken?”/“Kernel Sanders.”
A chicken riddle is: Q: Who invented popcorn chicken?A: Kernel Sanders. KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) was founded by Colonel Harland David Sanders (1890-1980). "Colonel" sounds like…
“Who invented spaghetti?”/“Someone who used his noodle.”
"Noodle" is slang for the brain. A popular pun is: Q: Who invented spaghetti?A: Someone who used his noodle. The "noodle" joke has been cited in print since at least 1921. 22…
“Who is a Covid-19 patient’s favorite composer?”/“Drycoughsky.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made some jokesters think of Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1893), who they renamed "Drycoughsky." Margot wrote on Twitter on March 14,…
“Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?” (riddle/joke)
"Who is buried in Grant's tomb?" is a famous New York City riddle. Ulysses S. Grant (1922-1885), the eighteenth president of the United States, and Julia Grant (1826-1902), his wife,…