“Titjobs imply the existence of titunemployment”
A "boob job" means work done on a breast (boob). It is not an actual job, but there are jokes. "If boobjobs were actually jobs, I'd file for boobunemployment& the gov't…
Alphebetical for "t"
“To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe”
"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American magazine columnist and author Marilyn vos Savant…
“To all the high school grads… Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life”
"Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life" (shown with a picture of graduates) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "And, I'm so glad that you…
“To all the people panic buying, make sure you stock up on condoms so you don’t produce more idiots”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in panic buying. "To all the people panic buying, make sure you stock up on condoms so you don't produce any more idiots" is a…
“To anger a conservative, lie to him: to anger a liberal, tell him the truth”
"To anger a conservative, lie to him: to anger a liberal, tell him the truth" is a quotation that is often credited to Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), but there is no evidence that he…
“To avoid burnout at work use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years”
There are several imagined "30-30" work rules, about what someone should do after 30 minutes of work. These "rules" are jokes on the "20-20-20 rule" for digital eye…
“To avoid cracked, dry skin this winter, take half a lemon, a bottle of tequila, salt, and don’t go outside”
"To avoid cracked, dry skin this winter, take half a lemon, a bottle of tequila, salt, and don’t go outside" -- that is, have a Margarita cocktail -- is a jocular saying that has been…
“To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 30-30 rule. After 30 minutes of work, quit your job…”
There are several imagined "30-30" work rules, about what someone should do after 30 minutes of work. These "rules" are jokes on the "20-20-20 rule" for digital eye…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations, I’m converting my house into a Chinese restaurant”
Many Chinese restaurants put up Christmas decorations and never seem to take them down. "To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations..I'm converting my house into a Chinese…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into a Chinese restaurant”
Many Chinese restaurants put up Christmas decorations and never seem to take them down. "To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations..I'm converting my house into a Chinese…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
Do Italian restaurants have too many lights? Patrick McLellan posted a Christmas joke on Twitter on January 7, 2013: "To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
Do Italian restaurants have too many lights? Patrick McLellan posted a Christmas joke on Twitter on January 7, 2013: "To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an…
“To be a success in business, be daring, be first, be different”
"To be a success in business: Be daring, be first, be different" has been cited in print since at least 1970. "Marchant" was credited in 1981, "Henry Marchant" was…
“To be a successful fisherman you should get there yesterday when the fish were biting”
Fishermen often find that the fish were biting -- yesterday. "'You Ought to Have Been Here Yesterday' is the Fisherman's Advice" was printed in the Buffalo (NY) Commercial…
“To be disillusioned, one first must be illusioned”
"To become disillusioned you must earlier have been illusioned," wrote Paul Fussell in 1982. Fussell was referring to childhood and growing up. Voters often become disillusioned with a…
“To be fair, I should stay out of the sun”
The expression "to be fair" means to speak or act honestly. It usually doesn't mean "to be of a fair complexion," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit --…
“To be hated for loving freedom has been the weirdest experience of my life”
"To be hated for loving freedom has been the weirdest experience of my life" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "To be hated for loving freedom has been the…
“To be honest, I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this all started”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic increased use of Lysol (a brand name of cleaning and disinfecting products). "To be honest.. I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this…
“To be Irish is to know that, in the end, the world will break your heart”
"To be Irish is to know that, in the end, the world will break your heart" is a paraphrase of a 1963 remark by Daniel Patrick Moynihan (1927-2003), then Assistant Secretary of Labor. U.S.…
“To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid”
"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Quote: 'To be old and wise you must first be young and…