“The universe is made of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons”
"The universe is made of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. This line was printed in many publications in 1932:…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Shakti GawainShakti Gawain (30 September 1948 – 11 November 2018) was a New Age and personal development author. Her books have sold over 10 million copies.…
“The unvaccinated are not a threat to society. They are a threat to authority”
Many government officials during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic portrayed the unvaccinated as a threat to society. "The unvaccinated are not a threat to society, they are a threat to…
“The upper crust is a bunch of crumbs held together by a lot of dough”
"The upper crust, metaphorically speaking, is composed of a lot of crumbs held together by dough" is cited from May 1945, when it was credited to "J. C. T." A "crumb"…
“The USA became the land of the free because regular citizens had military-grade weapons”
"You're celebrating today because regular citizens had military grade weapons" is an Independence Day (July 4th) pro-guns saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The USA is having so many disasters you’d think it was built on ancient Indian burial grounds”
A popular trope in movies and television is that something (such as a house or a town) is cursed because it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. This became a viral joke about America.…
“The USA: A country so great that even her haters refuse to leave”
"America: The country so great that even its haters refuse to leave" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Democrats said they would leave the United States if Donald…
“The used car salesman knows when he’s lying” (joke)
Used car salesmen have long had a reputation for lying about the poor condition of the used cars they sold. A joke soon developed in the computer industry: Q: What's the difference between a…
“The vaccine should be tested on politicians first. If they survive, the vaccine is safe…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to a race for a COVID-19 vaccine. "They should first test the COVID vaccine on government officials. If they are safe, the vaccine is good. But if they…
“The Vatican police speak pig Latin”
"The Vatican Police speak pig Latin" is a joke on the liner noted to the comedy album FM & AM (1972) by American stand-up comedian George Carlin (1937-2008). "Pig" is slang…
“The vice presidency is a spare tire on the automobile of government”
John Nance "Cactus Jack" Garner (1868-1967) was vice president of he United States from 1933-1941, but he never thought much of the vice presidency. On June 19, 1934, Garner was quoted as…
“The vice presidency isn’t worth a pitcher of warm spit” (John Nance Garner to Lyndon B. Johnson)
"The vice presidency isn't worth a pitcher of warm spit" was the advice that John Nance Garner (vice president under Franklin D. Roosevelt) gave to a fellow Texan, Senator Lyndon B.…
“The wages of sin are death, but after taxes are taken out, it’s just kind of a tired feeling”
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" is from the New Testament, Romans 6:23. American stand-up comedian Paula Poundstone gave a…
“The waiter said, ‘Your table will be ready shortly’” (at the IKEA restaurant)
When a waiter says, “Your table will be ready shortly,” this does not mean that the restaurant is actually constructing a table, but there are jokes. “The waiter said, ‘Your table will be…
“The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country…”
"The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country..." is a humorous list describing the readers of various newspapers. The New York (NY) Times "is read by people who…
“The war machine wins every U.S. presidential election”
It is often said that whether a Democrat or a Republican wins a presidential election, the war machine always wins. "Doesn't matter the party - the war machine wins" was posted on…
“The Washington monument looks nothing like the guy. It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton”
The Washington Monument, in Washington, D.C., is an obelisk that was opened in 1888. Obviously, the monument does not look like George Washington (1732-1799), but there are jokes. "I think…
“The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in”
E. W. Howe (1853-1937), a newspaper columnist on the Atchison )KS) Globe, wrote in 1908: "The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in." Howe's aphorism has been…
“The way Pop-Tart icing holds up in the toaster is both oddly fascinating and unsettling”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twittev yeah ok @poutinesmoothie The way Pop-Tart icing holds up in the toaster is both oddly fascinating and unsettling. 10:25 AM · Mar 23, 2025
“The way taxes are today, you might as well marry for love”
"The way taxes are today, you might as well marry for love" has been credited (since the 1990s) to comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971), but there's no evidence that Lewis even said it.…