“Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves”
"Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Now if you'll excuse…
Alphebetical for "n"
“Now is always the most difficult time to invest”
"Now is always the most difficult time to invest" is an investment adage, with the joke being that it is always "now" and always a difficult time. Charles Welles Buek, an…
“Now is not the right time to surround yourself with positive people” (virus joke)
"Surround yourself with positive people" is self-help advice that has been printed on many images. However, the 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused social distancing and quarantines.…
“Now is probably the perfect time to become a ventriloquist”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“Now my friends lay me down to sleep, a fifth of whiskey down by my feet…”
"Now my friends lay me down to sleep,/ A fifth of whiskey down by my feet./ If I should die before I wake,/ Tell everyone that I drank it straight" is a jocular saying that has been…
“Now serving liquid sanity and motivation topped with hope. It’s called coffee”
"Now serving liquid sanity and motivation topped with hope. It's called coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Now serving liquid sanity &…
“Now Showing: No Close Encounters of Any Kind” (quarantine movie joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many movie houses to close and for people to quarantine and to "socially distance" themselves. The Colonial Theatre (Phoenixville, PA) closed,…
“Now that April Fool’s day is over, everything on the internet is true again” (April 2)
“April 1st: the only day people critically evaluate things on the internet before believing them” is a jocular saying about April Fools' Day. "Hooray, April fool's day is over.…
“Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants”
"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants" is a saying that has appeared on internet joke lists and on T-shirts. The saying is of unknown origin…
“Now that the gyms are closed, this summer is going to be about personalities”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many gyms to close. Many people got out of shape. "So if gyms close because of Coronavirus, should I stop working on my summer body and start working…
“Now that the gyms are closed, this summer is going to be about personality”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many gyms to close. Many people got out of shape. "So if gyms close because of Coronavirus, should I stop working on my summer body and start working…
“Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker”
The website Pun of the Day posted this pun by Rick Kelso (of Kansas) on September 14, 2016: "Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker." The…
“Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly. Next week: turn signals”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak came with many public announcements to wash hands. Many people used this to joke about learning other basic things. "For those of you that just adopted…
“Now that we’ve banned plastic straws, I guess I’ll just have to drink my frappucino through…”
"now that we've banned plastic straws, i guess i'll just have to drink my frappucino through this assault rifle" was posted on Twitter by Seranine Elliot on July 14, 2018. The…
“Now That’s HIP” (Health Insurance Plan of Greater NY)
HIP is the Health Insurance Plan of Greater New York. HIP is national, but it began in New York City. "Now That's HIP" is a slogan from 2002.…
“Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check”
Many fine dining restaurants offer after-dinner mints, suggesting a pun on the word "mint": "Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check"…
No Action Talk Only (North Atlantic Treaty Organization or NATO nickname)
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was formed in 1949 by member states in North America and Europe for collective defense (against what at that time was the Soviet Union). The…
No Actual Science Allowed (NASA nickname)
Entry in progress -- BP Other NASA nicknames include "National Academy of Space Actors," "Never A Straight Answer" and "Not A Space Agency." Wikipedia: NASAThe…
No Boys Allowed (National Basketball Association or NBA nickname)
The National Basketball Association (NBA) sometimes has players direct from high school (without playing college basketball), but it's a professional league and players must grow up fast to…
No Democratic or Republican way to clean the streets
Fiorello La Guardia (1882-1947) is famous for saying that "there is no Democratic or Republican way to clean the streets" in New York City. In other words, that there's "only…