“I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned”
Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I tried starting my day without coffee once… My court date is pending”
"I tried starting a/my day without coffee once... My court date is pending" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Tried starting the day without coffee…
“I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court”
"I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court" -- a pun also on "basketball" court -- is a joke that was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt. After using up two bags of salt I gave up”
To take something "with a grain of salt" is an expression meaning that one views it with skepticism. "I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt, but after using up two…
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life”
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Hey , i tried to be normal once.. worst 15 seconds of my life…
“I tried to buy a hot dog with ketchup, but the vendor would only accept cash”
A joke was posted by john on Twitter on May 22, 2017: Me: I'd like to buy a hot dog with ketchup, pleaseHim: Sorry, cash only A similar joke was reposted on Twitter on December 11, 2019.…
“I tried to buy a life insurance policy, but they just laughed and said I need to get a life first”
"Get a life!" is a popular expression. "I was denied life insurance, they said I had to get a life first" is a jocular saying that was posted on the newsgroup…
“I tried to catch some fog. I mist”
"I tired to catch some fog. I mist" is a pun that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers. "Just tried to catch some fog. I…
“I tried to change my password to ‘beefstew,’ but it wasn’t stroganoff”
"Stroganoff" sounds like "strong enough," and a pun is: "I tried to change my password to 'beefstew,' but it wasn't stroganoff." The joke was posted on…
“I tried to change my password to ‘beefstew,’ but it wasn’t stroganoff”
"Stroganoff" sounds like "strong enough," and a pun is: "I tried to change my password to 'beefstew,' but it wasn't stroganoff." The joke was posted on…
“I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. This is as close as I could get”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many to "socially distance" themselves from others. People tried to come up with jokes, and this was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 22,…
“I tried to design a piece of paper and my teacher was impressed. He gave me an A4 effort”
"A4" is a popular paper size. "A joke about paper? You might have gotten an A4 effort!" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on October 23, 2012. "I tried to design a piece…
“I tried to find out exactly how loud my dog’s bark was. But I could only get a ruff estimate”
"Rough estimate" shouldn't be confused with "ruff estimate," but there are jokes that have been printed on many images. "I tried to find out exactly how loud my…
“I tried to force-feed our son when my wife said, ‘Use the fricking spoon. You’re not a Jedi’”
"Force-feeding" doesn't involve the "Force" from the
“I tried to go to a moving sale today, but I couldn’t catch up to it”
A "moving sale" isn't a sale that constantly moves. It's a sale where the owner of the house is moving, or the business is moving, and things need to be sold. However, there are…
“I tried to re-marry my ex-wife, but she figured out I was only after my money”
Some people marry for money, but there's a jocular twist to this. "I wanted to remarry my Ex-wife but she refused and she said I was only after my money" was posted on Twitter on…
“I tried to say no to vodka, but it’s 40% stronger than me”
"I tried to say no to vodka, but it's 40% stronger than me" is a jocular one-line vodka saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 6,…
“I tried to send Bugs Bunny a file through Google Drive, but he only accepts a Whatsapp doc”
WhatsApp (an instant messaging and voice-over-IP service) has nothing to do with Bugs Bunny and his famous catchphrase "What's up, doc?," but there are jokes. "Cuál es la App…
“I tried to share a bag of potato chips with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench” (joke)
A joke about the homeless is: "I tried to share some chips with a homeless guy in the park last night. He told me to fuck off and get my own." The joke was posted on Twitter on April 10,…
“I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed”
A joke about Target stores was told by American stand-up comedian Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) and has been printed on many images: "I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the…