"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now change your Facebook status" -- a joke illustrating the importance of social media -- has been printed on several images. The usual…
A joke about ordering steak was posted on Twitter by Crap Jokes on April 1, 2015: "I occasionally enjoy having my steak undercooked...but that’s rare." The one-line saying has been…
"I entered a kleptomania competition. I got gold, silver and bronze" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 28, 2019, and again on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2019. "I once…
"I once had a job drilling holes in wood. It was really boring" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on May 18, 1998. The pun plays on the two meanings of "boring."…
Piña colada (a cocktail) has nothing to do with subpoenas, but there are lawyer jokes. "Am I a lawyer? Lemme see ... I failed my bar exam (added too much rum to the subpoena colada), so the…
She Stoops to Conquer (1773) is a comedy by the Anglo-Irish author Oliver Goldsmith. A "conker" is a horse-chestnut. "I'm too old to go chucking sticks at the branches of a…
"Spoiler alert" is a warning that the plot of a drama is about to be revealed. "Spoiler" alerts usually don't involve food, but there are several jokes. "SPOILER…
One joke about Coke (Coca-Cola) and coke (cocaine) is: "I once tried to sniff Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils." "I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck…
American humorist Gerald Barzan was credited in the book The Greatest Laughs of All Time (1961), by Gerald F. Lieberman, with a popular line about working as a salesman: "I once worked as a…
"Sorry, it’s my first day on the job" is a popular employee work excuse. This was posted on X/Twitter by makayla on May 19, 2021, and received over 728,000 likes: "i once worked…
"I accept apologies in cash" was posted on Twitter by Luke Sparke on June 3, 2009. "I accept apologies in cash, cheesecake or chocolate" was posted on Twitter by Abhi Gupta on…
The term "rare coins" is often paired with "common cents" (a pun on "common sense"). "Thieves arrested after stealing nearly $69,000 in rare coins. So much for…
"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person, and that person drinks a lot" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Kelkulus"…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
"I only eat in three places: here, there and everywhere" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is from Daniel L. Worona and was printed in his…
"I only have a kitchen because it came with the house" is a humorous saying that has been printed on many gift items since at least 2004. The saying means that the house has a kitchen,…