American comedian Tom Rhodes posted on Twitter on August 25, 2012: "I like to hold hands at the movies. Which always seems to startle strangers." The line was voted as one of the top…
Many people make supermarket lists, and then forget to take these lists with them to the supermarket. "I like to make lists. I also like to leave them (laying) on the kitchen counter and then…
"Trapeze" sounds like "trapped peas." "I used to be in the Circus. I was a Trapped Peas Artist" was posted on Twitter by IG:lil.eddie.turdle on June 7, 2011. "My…
"I like to party. And by party I mean drink coffee with no pants on" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I like to party. And by party I mean lounge in…
There is a difference between playing chess against people and playing chess with people (for example, human chess pieces). American stand-up comedian Emo Philips said in a November 2009 interview:…
There is a difference between playing chess against people and playing chess with people (for example, human chess pieces). American stand-up comedian Emo Philips said in a November 2009 interview:…
"It's soup herb" sounds like "it's superb." "Just figured out the ultimate recipe to wellness. It's Soup + Herb" was posted on X/Twitter by Kaner on…
"Hock" is a British term for German white wine. Some puns have "add hock" instead of "ad hoc." "I didn’t have set people to specifically calculate how much…
Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…
Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…
Many people try to dismiss something as part of a strange time in their lives -- then they admit that it's all been strange, at all times. "I love to dismiss my horrible decisions by…
Many people stop the microwave with one second left and take their food out; this makes them feel like a bomb defusal/disposal expert. "I like to stop the microwave when it gets to one second.…
"I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, random shenanigans, and solid love of coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I like…
Flies are called that because they fly, but what about other creatures? This joke was posted on X/Twitter (it is now set to private) by Jaclyn on May 30, 2025, and it received over 148,000 likes:…
"I listen to every genre of music. I'm polyjamorous" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The word "polyjamorous" is a portmanteau of the words…
"I listen to the voices in my coffee" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. A crazy person might "listen to the voices inside the head." "I…
"I literally wrote a book to warn you guys about this. -- George Orwell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. English author George Orwell (1903-1950) didn't…
"I literally wrote a book to warn you guys about this. -- George Orwell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. English author George Orwell (1903-1950) didn't…
"Raison d'être" ( French for "reason for being") has nothing to do with raisins, but there are jokes. "I absolutely live for small dried fruits. They're my…
"I live for my alarm clock collection. It's what gets me up in the morning" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter on February 10, 2011. The saying was posted on Twitter by…